News – No Positive Spin
North America
The White House denies that Bush touted the existence of mobile biological weapons laboratories in Iraq while knowing it was not true. Perhaps. But at the very least, he touted them as what they were not before getting proper confirmation on what they were. That or whoever investigated them is incompetent. So take your pick. Two ways, Bush screwed the pooch, the other it just goes to show how poor our security officials are overall.
Maj. Gen. John Batiste, who commanded the Germany-based 1st Infantry Division in Iraq and has recently retired, thinks that Rummy should resign. It’s so interesting.. while they’re in the military, you rarely hear a peep out of anyone, barely a discouraging word. But once they’re out, the opinions are finally freed from their bonds. That’s one reason why I rarely take the seeming approval of individuals within the military as valid. Who is to say that Joe Grunt is saying positive things because that’s how he really feels or because of feelings of duty? Who can say that Mr. General really doesn’t need more troops or if he’s keeping up appearances to not ruffle feathers or rock the boat? The very nature of the military prevents valid expression of dissent within it.
A US library wins one against the Patriot Act. They’re currently locked in court with the FBI over the request for the borrowing habits of a patron, wanting to know what the man is suspected of before they turn over the records. The small victory is the lifting of a gag order that didn’t allow the library to identify itself. This is just the beginning. Slowly those who opposite the Patriot Act will start chipping it apart. Unless you have the support of the public for an endeavor, that endeavor is doomed to fail.
AT&T tries to get technical documents returned, which it presented in a lawsuit, which detail how they aided the government in setting up a massive internet wiretap operation in San Fran. Lovely.
For those that wish to know, the full transcript of the United 93 cockpit flight recorder. The audio of this was played at the trial of Zacarias Moussaoui. One thing is for sure, it’s not too clear on precisely what happened.
McCain plays a tough game now. So long the rogue element, now that he’s a potential republican front runner, he can’t afford to ruffle too many feathers. Yet his playing to the right may well alienate his following on the left. What’s a guy to do?
Middle East
Iran will continue to ignore calls to stop uranium enrichment. This is or should be an expected step. So the UN will have to play a card. Hopefully a good one.
Imagine working at an airport with no flights. Wondering if, at some point, you might suddenly lose this job and it’s life sustaining income as it is meaningless now. That’s what some do in Palestine.
Asia
Indonesia is having issues with the publication of Playboy(a tamer version where the ladies are only scantily clad) and have want the company to hold off on publishing their next issue.
Australia
John Howard, PM of Australia, says that his government was misled by their wheat exporter about deals in the Oil-for-Food program. A good alibi, but is it true?
Europe
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi may order a partial recount of election results in which he lost by a narrow margin. He’s denounced the poll as fraudulent and generally thrown a hissy since the results came in.
General
The Blogs look at Iran’s admittance to uranium enriching, the story on prewar claims regarding Saddam’s bioweapons “trailers” and say goodbye to the last Sicilian godfather
Today’s Papers has Michael Jackson near a deal that would help stave off bankruptcy for him, potential that the Darfur conflict could be spreading, more on the flash drive issue in Afghanistan($40 for one that has detailed information about Afghan spies employed by the U.S. Intelligence) and more in the one page news.
Amusements
Mark Fiore: 36
Fark.com, proud pisser-offer of the media world
This year’s Boston Marathon will feature two jogglers. That’s right, juggling while jogging for 26.2 miles. In other news, all new sports have offically been invented
Couple arrested while spicing up sex life, at 2:30 a.m., against car in parking lot, with crowd watching
Utah school thinks they booked The Daily Shows Jon Stewart — instead, mistakenly hires a part-time professional wrestler from Chicago to host fundraising gala
ABC liquor stores in North Carolina institute policy that forbids gossip in liquor stores. Bessie Mae surrenders
Old celebrity attends own Walk of Fame ceremony in nothing but a red T-Shirt
Oregon: Where being endorsed by the FART is something worth bragging about
Hot teacher decides to forgo sleeping with students, instead busted for faking cancer (with pic of teacher)
Ho hum: Man assaulted, loses consciousness. Titillating: Man regains consciousness, discovers pants around ankles. Fark: Man shows up at hospital four days later where they discover a 20-ounce bottle in his lower intestine
<A HREF="http://www.startribune.com/142/story/362449.html”>Asshat students make fake MySpace gay pr0n site in teacher’s name. Soon to have their own spaces on not-so-fake Convicted Felon site
Life in Florida continues to be an adventure, with the latest problem for residents being Burmese pythons that grow as big around as telephone poles
Man busts his dog out of the pound because he can’t pay $125 fine. Collared by police, he’s in the doghouse after judge unleashes two felony counts
Bailiff sent to grandmothers house over her unpaid taxes. Of around eight cents
Dumb: Soaking your pants with gas while siphoning someone’s tank. Dumbass: Flicking a lighter to see how much gas got on your pants. Fark.com: You’re stealing the gas from a firefighter’s car
Just in time for Easter: The Jesus “Wizard of Oz” dress-up page
Tasmanian company obtains license to use hemp in its dog biscuits. Your dog can’t remember what it wants, man
Fark Photoshop Challenge: Chris Farley will “live” on in anti-addiction drug billboard. Photoshop another celebrity plugging from beyond the grave
Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop theme: Reincarnation
Fark Photoshop Challenge: Theme: Little known historical bloopers