News – More Haste, More Waste

North America

The Pentagon is nudging Congress for approval to develop a new quick strike weapon, so they can attack suspected targets faster. Personally, I don’t think they deserve something like that, until they improve their intelligence. The last thing we need is for them to have the ability to hit the wrong target faster.

Bush does the expected Memorial Day thing. Take it as you will.

Frist dubs the search of Louisiana Rep. William Jefferson’s office as “OK”. Frist also defends giving illegals a path to citizenship. One wonders, is his desire to prepare the stage for a presidential run deciding his policy directions?

US towns are starting to disdain chain stores, among them Wal-Mart. I say more power to them, if they want to differentiate themselves from every other berg in the nation by eschewing the mediocrity of the likes of Wal-Mart.

Middle East

Looks like world powers are finally deciding on then incentive/punishment package with regard to Iran and its nuclear enrichment. Not that, I think they’ll go for it. No matter what they do, the US will continue to hound them and try to topple their currently leadership. Since that’s a given, what use does compliance have for them?

It’s too soon to judge the alleged murder of Iraqi civilians by several unnamed marines. If they’re found guilty, I hope severe penalties are enacted, as their actions not only go against the rules of war, but put their comrades in danger by inflaming opposition to US forces in the region. Especially at fault are those who might have sought to cover this up.

Asia

Is the Chinese threat real or imagined? Either way, it’s a cash cow for the military, with all sorts of gear justified by the scary Chinese. While the Chinese have been empowering their military, they still lag far, far behind the US. There’s no need for panic and no need to spend more and more on nifty tech toys.

Europe

An EU court has decided that it is illegal for the EU to transfer passenger data to the US, as part of their methods in combating terrorism. There is time provided, however, to find some compromise solution, thus air travel will not be immediately affected.

General

The Blogs look at the confirmation of Hayden, a pair of Washington Post editorials on the prospect of the United States engaging in direct talks with Iran and a list of the “top 50 conservative rock songs of all time.”

Today’s Papers has hunger strikes at Gitmo, a dispatch from Ramadi confirming that insurgents all but control the town and detailing Marines’ efforts to defend just a few government buildings, troubles in Afghanistan and more in the one page news.

Amusements

Today’s idiot whining about how Harry Potter is ruining our children comes from US Psych prof, who claims that Hermione “makes” girls violent because she doesn’t STFU and go to the kitchen

Plumber in Iceland imports Porsche Carrera at a cost of US $1 million; at max speed of 350 km/hr, he can now cross his whole country in about an hour and twenty minutes

Not news: Man arrested at scene of crash. News: After jumping out of his car, he tries to flee, smacks into window, starts fistfighting cars. Fark.com: Did we mention he was stark naked?

Some Jedi ticked off that “The Da Vinci Code” rips off “Star Wars”

Armed robber wants his victims to know that they can sleep, he won’t be returning, he “just wanted to see how police work over here”

Naked drunk guy gets into fistfight with garage door, loses

Having solved all other problems, British government is fining circus clowns for throwing water at each other

Our Church of the Blessed Attention Whores, also known as Westboro Baptist Church, seen protesting outside of Arlington National Cemetary

Scary: Man’s house catches fire. Spiffy: Firefighters arrive and extinguish blaze. Dumbass: The $400,000 worth of pot and hydroponic equipment didn’t go unnoticed

French rapper goes on trial for insulting France with lyrics that include a threat to urinate on Napoleon. He certainly pissed some people off

Fark is proud to present the next great sport of our times: finger jousting

Fan-made Batmobile replica, or how to ruin a perfectly good Corvette (with pics)

People planning on inducing labor to avoid birthing the Antichrist

Facing sharply higher insurance costs, Tuscaloosa city employees urged not to be such fatasses

Man invents a jump-rope minus the rope, explains it is good for the clumsy

Fark Photoshop Challenge: <A HREF="http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=2081348″>Photoshop farker’s daughter feeding the birdies at Mount Rainier

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop these nutty excavators

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Apple and Nike team up to make iPod-friendly footwear. Photoshop some other bizarre corporate team-ups