News – Modest Morning News

Middle East

Looking at the disengagement of Israel from Palestine, without Sharon.

Rizgar Mohammed Amin, chief judge in Saddam’s trial, is being urged to review his plans to resign. As much embattled as he is, I can understand why the whole thing is wearing on him.

Pakistan’s President Pervez Musharraf will address his people today about the US airstrike on a target in Pakistan territory. There has been quite an uproar amongst Pakistanis, which is more than understandable.

Egypt ignores US requests from the US to meet opposition leader Ayman Nour in prison. Now they know what it feels like to be denied.

Asia

At a meeting in Beijing, it is noted there is little time to lose when it comes to bird flu. I agree. 80 people have died because of it. Enough to be worrying. Other diseases kill more people, that much is true, but this is a new one, with as of yet unknown capabilities to be contained. Better to squash it now than to wait and see.

North America

Democrats force a week long delay in the vote on confirming Alito. Most still expect he’ll be confirmed.

A top issue for congress is lobbying reform. Question is, will they make real changes to cut out some of the corruption?

Henry Crumpton, the U.S. State Department coordinator for counter-terrorism, says an attack by WMD on a western country is inevitable.

General

Are female teachers who have sex with their students getting treated lighter than their male counterparts?

Explainer looks at terrorist paperwork.

Amusements

Bisexual dad B, who impregnated Lesbian A (who intends to marry Lesbian C), has sued to have full parental rights to Child D, even though A got pregnant again from a homosexual man to bear another Child, E

Man tries to get into Guinness book by auctioning off tin of baked beans one at a time

Woman’s parrot reveals her affair when it said “I love you, Gary,” in her voice and made sloppy kissy noises whenever it heard that name on TV. The big-mouthed parrot trifecta is now in play

Operating a meth lab in your home, getting drunk and exposing yourself in public are perfectly acceptable if you’re friends with the police commissioner

Toy plane crashes, sparks massive reponse by police and paramedics

Idiot decides to remove bullet in his chest with with the pointy end of a meat thermometer

Man who set out to show the world you can eat unhealthy food for every meal and get away with it….dies, age 20

Cop who had sex with his girfriend in back seat of cruiser fired after handcuffed suspects complained they always had to sit on the wet spot

Regular jail break – hiding in the laundry van. Expert jail break – tunnelling under the wall. Fark.com jail break – walk up to the guard, convince him you’ve got a work permit, then walk out the gate

Woman takes out murder contract on herself. Killer fails. She sues, would-be killer pays her $3500, as he failed to keep up his end of the contract

Fark Photoshop Challenge: The Mall of America is losing the rights to use the Peanuts gang in its theme park. Photoshop other comic strip or cartoon characters filling in

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop Senator Ted Kennedy’s children’s book

Fark Photoshop Challenge: Forbes releases the top 100 most loved spokes-creatures. Talking M&Ms topped the list. Photoshop what the bottom of the list looks like

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