Fun – Lil’ Amusements Collection

Some mid-week amusements for ya’ll.

Satire

Can Kerry Beat Bush?

John Kerry Has No Recollection Of Throwing Medals Like A Girl

Wordplay

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters: EVIL’S AGENT
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z’S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I’M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
And for the grand finale: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Only in America

Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America……do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America……do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America….. do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America……do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Greek meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
Only in America……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Announcement

It was announced today that Canada is now prepared to help the U.S. in its war against terrorism. They have promised to commit 2 of their largest battleships, 6000 armed troops and 600 fighter jets.

However, after the exchange rate, that comes down to a canoe, 2 Mounties and a flying squirrel.

Flash Goodies

OddTood – The art is subpar, but the jokes are pretty good.

Recent Timely Toons

Get Your War On

The Modern World

Random Smirks

Lyin’ King

Kerry’s Waffle House

John Kerry Action Figure

Moonbound Bush

Spoiler

Lightning Rod

How to Win a Terror War

Lastly, a little fun question to answer if you wish.

Q. What movie or television show do you love, but are embarrassed that you do?

I can’t really think of any off the top of my head, but I thought I’d toss the question out for interested parties. Feel free to elaborate on why. And feel free to pose the question to your own readers.