Universe was knocking

You’ve walked along the periphery of dreams for days. Tugging at my consciousness. Look, look over here. Here I am, do you see? Through the fog of assumptions and doubt, curiously waiting to once again feel the color and texture of your lyrics

——————————

Learning a hard lesson this week. Barb Pain died on the 24th from leukemia. She had been debating if she needed to stop the transfusions. She was up to 2 PRBC and 1-2 platelets about once a week and still quickly dropping back down to hgb of 4.8-5. I wish I would have taken a minute to just hug her one more time. But I assumed she would be back the next week. She decided to go on hospice and passed 24 hrs later.

6 or 7 times this week, whether it be feelings, looks, or phrases, I’ve wanted to reach out. Tell someone they matter, I see them, they really helped me out, just… acknowledge them. But I hold back. It’s too forward, they already know that, they’re too busy/ wouldn’t matter coming from me, I’m just being silly

But again, today, the universe is telling me to speak up.

we have a deaf patient on the floor. I know very little ASL. I can finger spell and some other basics. And I’m sure my form sucks since I haven’t had someone to practice with in a long time. But no one else was even trying. I just wanted to introduce myself. The smile on that mans face. His son would go on to tell me how much it meant that I just tried. It made such a difference. And the more the shift went on, the more came back. It helps too that I had to wear my PAPR until his Covid came back, so we could see my facial expressions and read my lips.

I hear you. I will try to do better