12/15/2010

I had once thought you were to be that savior of me..the angel at a dark time..my reason to live in an otherwise unlivable time..turned away by friends..and so called family..when the darkness and oblivion seemed the greatest thing I had left..and you came….you told me you remembered..you loved me..and wanted to be mine..you told me no other would be in your shoes..and you lied..the whole time…no longer the angel but the devil that still haunts my thoughts at the most random of times..after so many years..and so many scars..you still linger..After all that was done to me by you in the name of “love” and false pretenses..I should of looked back and seen these things coming but the light shining off of the ideal of you blinded me.. New years should off been a tip off..same with when you told me about it..looking back on it i was stupid..and blind..something i will not be again..but i wonder why you still haunt me..do you think of me still…when you think of the lost one ..do you still see me? do you see my smiles? the bloodied scars? am I still in your thoughts do you hear my screams of anguish and try to block them out? why…why cant I ever remove you from my thoughts? I have tried..and fought with myself to do it..to take every thing and remove it from my being..I still have the pictures of our’s..and the ticket we had left over from the fair..and you still haunt me..I know i’ll never talk to you again..you seemed to of removed me from who you are..maybe i still believe a part of you still is good..I have heard naught from you in many nights..no message..no call..no txt nothing..maybe you have forgotten…maybe i am the thrice damned fool for still keeping you in my heart..I dont know..maybe you will wake up and think of me and feel like you need to know…because I do..i need to know..

I need a hero to save me now..

So i guess this is it for the night..if you’re new around here. Welcome to the world of Gareth De Lionourt. It’s twisted…kinda insane..but its home. You’re welcome to look around, say what you want…do what you want..just realize, I am not perfect..I am not like you..or any one you will ever meet in more ways than 1. I am just me..take me…leave me..love me..hate me..I dont care..probably never will.

~*Sweet Nightmares*~

Gareth