Therapy, etc.

I had my therapy appointment today. I don’t know how much I like it. To be honest, though, I don’t know what I expected. But the lady just does a lot of sitting and looking at me, waiting for me to talk. What am I supposed to say? Ask me questions or something. If I had all the answers myself, or knew how to find them, I wouldn’t be in therapy. She wants me to go in for a med evaluation. “I’m not pushing you to, but…” But. But she was. Mom wants me to talk to her about what I’m feeling. No. ********** I’ve seen Kristen and Jen quite a bit lately. I’m doing okay with it. Haven’t cried over it since my last entry about the tattoos. They want to move back east, which makes me sad but whatever. Kristen said today that she thinks they’ll wait a little longer for that. Also, I’m their official everyday dogsitter. ********** My car needs a new engine. Mom said $4,000. Fuck. My. Life. Still no job interviews. Lots of applications but no interviews. ********** I wish Echo and I could be together. Really be together. I know I need to be patient, but it would be easier if I knew it would actually happen. I just… I want to be near her.

dreamer.rising

January 13, 2011

white elephants

If you don’t talk to her about how you’re feeling, she can’t help you. I’m sure she will have more insight when she gets to know you a little more. I’ve found that in that situation, in just babbling and not trying to make sense, you sort of see what you keep coming back to. My opinion re: meds is soured. If you need them to be able to function and get out of bed in the morning, then by all

But I think giving therapy a chance first is always the best way to go. I think they’re over prescribed and for me, all it really did was give me a break from obsessing about things. But when you can’t feel anything about something that used to bother you, you’re not dealing with it. Plus the withdrawal was terrible.

Sucks about the car. Seriously bad timing. Ugh, I’m sorry.

ryn: ohhhhh. okay.

im_going_nowhere

Carting you off to a med evaluation seems a little premature, especially since they barely scratched the surface of what you’re thinking. I think a few more sessions should be in order so she can at least get an understanding of where you’re coming from. From what I see, I don’t think you’re manic and would not require inpatient care. Sometimes it takes a few tries before finding the right psych.

I’m going to keep my fingers crossed that one day soon you and echo will have the opportunity to get together in person and get to know each other in that manner. Plus, it’d be fun to hear about the making out!

As far as the car, might be worth ditching it and getting a new one. You will end up putting yourself in negative equity, but the with amount of money that has been dumped into this damn thing already, I don’t see how $4K would be cost justified.

See if you can get them to buy it back from you. Because if you get it fixed you will owe $9600.

Any dealership that will do a buy back option. They won’t pay what you owe for it, but even if you get $2K out of it, that can cut down what you owe. You’ll refinance with the same bank that gave the loan for a new loan on a new car. Since it is negative equity, you’ll have higher interest rates, but you will also have a new car with new warranty and will not be stuck in a rut.