Still figuring things out

Dear Diary,

Well Ryan was really happy to see me again after my trip.  I came back home on a Saturday night and after I had unpacked the stuff from the car I went over his house for the night.  We had some fun, and then talked a bit.  This week I called him a few nights from home as well.  We’re going to go to Cedar Point’s Halloweekends this year.  He hasn’t been to Cedar Point in a while.  Of course, he has a fear of heights, so we’ll have to see what rides he can go on with me.  But they’ll have shows and other stuff as well.  Also, I’m taking him down to Amish country next month when the leaves change.  He hasn’t been down there before and I am tempted to make it a special weekend for him.  I was looking up bed & breakfasts down there, because it’s an 1.5-2 hr drive down there, and we might stay at a B&B or hotel.  It should be fun.  Ryan still doesn’t have a job yet.  Sometimes I wish he wasn’t so lazy.  And he smokes, which sometimes gets to me.  I don’t want to suffer from secondhand smoke and die early.  But he really is a sweet guy, and I think I’m helping him cope with his family.  They are dysfuncional and I feel for him.  I’ve told him on the phone I love him a few times, and I do, but I am still unsure if I want to be his boyfriend.  Right now we’re just "dating", I don’t know, I guess I want to keep my options open.  Is that wrong?

~
Hey, here is a  link to an old pic of Ryan.  He looks really hot in it I think.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=11033718&albumID=0&imageID=891237