05.18.2023

Wow. He’s getting married. I didn’t think it would hit me like that. It actually hadn’t occurred to me at all. How I feel about this is the biggest surprise. I mean, I’m married. We were never going to be like an item or anything. He was never a good person anyway. I don’t know why I feel so shattered like this. It’s not like I was holding out hope or anything. I was more worried about keeping boundaries clear out of respect for my own relationship. So why feel this way? It’s such an unpleasant shock.

I know my relationship isn’t perfect. But we’re so broken in a way that I’ve never seen in anyone else before. I don’t know how to make it work. I don’t know how to fix it.