05.10.2023

I laid down at lunch, and could not pull myself up until it was time to clock out. Thank God I had the numbers and account involvement to support myself for the day. Or I’d just be working late. I had a headache today and I just wasn’t feeling really peppy. Even the dog seems down. I’ve been really tired, and to top it off I’ve been trying to quit soda and coffee and we have minimal groceries anyway. That probably explains the headache and fatigue.

I was having kinky dreams. I wish I could have stayed in them.

What was I about to write about? Darnit. I hate when this happens. I get a good subject, a little inspiration and by the time I get to the page I have only the watered down fog that usually occupies my brain.

Am I all talk? I talk a lot about what I’m trying to do and what I want to do, and I make a good effort. I could never get past my associates degree, but then that has more to do with base tuition being more than my gross annual earnings. And admittedly my refusal to put myself into ridiculous amounts of debt. Plus I have so many things in my life I want to learn and do. Wood working, welding, software, artwork, gardening, occultism, kayaking, stain glass window making… so many things.

And then I struggle with the depression. I don’t let it straight up stop me, but it slows me down a lot.

I need to shower. I’ll feel better after I shower.