Treading water.

 Treading water is physically exhausting. 

And when you can’t take it anymore you drown. 

and I’m starting to get exhausted. 

 And I became exhausted a long time ago.

…

 

So I guess I just have a habit of paying for places I don’t live in…my lease is up in April, but I haven’t been "home" for more than just a couple of hours combined in the last two months. 

 

I can’t seem to find a fucking job. It’s really discouraging. 

I am making enough money to eat and all of that dumb shit…but I don’t know how I am going to get through this bill cycle. I am already past due on my credit card, I owe my bank hundreds of dollars…fuck. I don’t know.

I am failing two classes, I need to just drop them soon. 

I need to drop out of the art institute.

 

I found out that my credits from there don’t transfer to anywhere but another Art Institute…which basically makes it a glorified tech school that I am paying four times the amount for…think ITT tech except it costs $100,000.00.

 

Seriously, fuck that. I don’t want to be owing that kind of shit on student loans when I’m done…

If I were to drop AI I would end up just enrolling in community college or something until my GPA was good enough to transfer to a university. 

 

Fuck…I don’t know.

 

Maybe I should declare bankruptcy and just move to South America or something. 

I don’t fucking know…

 

Anyway, things are going good with Blondie. 

They seem to be anyway.

 

I told myself that I wasn’t going to date anymore models…but…yeah…I guess we will just have to see how that factors into things later on. 

Hopefully it won’t be as a big a problem with her as it was with Amanda…I think with Amanda we just had way too many trust issues. Nothing was okay. 

 

Eff. 

 

FUCK!

 

Okay, I’m done now.