So…..

It’s 8:03 am.

I just pushed past the hour mark at work.

I walked in today and my boss was asleep at his desk in his chair.

I think he’s awake now…but now I want to sleep.

 

My eyes hurt pretty bad.

Like, whenever I blink it feels like my eyelids are scraping against my eyes.

I am very angry at this whole ordeal right now. So angry that every few times I blink I yell out, "Damn you! Damn you both to Hell!"

Which is most likely confusing my co-workers because as far as they can tell, I am not yelling at anything…and I don’t need to justify my actions to them. I could have a co-worker break up with the whole lot of them right now and walk away feeling like the winner.

"It’s not you, it’s really not…I just want to do my work with other employees right now, you know…maybe find a new workplace, start new projects. I feel like I really need to explore my other stock options. I think this will be best in the end."

 

I think I should take a lunch right now.

Yeah, I know it’s early…but I don’t want to be here.

I could really go for a Carne Asada Burrito right now, or even a breakfast burrito.

Hmmm…maybe some Indian. Something insanely spicy so it wakes my tired ass up. Or maybe I can get them to make it so insanely spicy that it will be emotionally and spiritually draining, and I won’t be able to come into work, maybe I can even call an ambulance and cruise around for a minute. Get an IV drip with some kind of Horchata…I don’t know if they put those in IV’s, but I do love me some of that Horchata.

I just thought of a great idea.

What if I made some Nan but made it really thin like a tortilla, and then I could make some bomb curry and wrap it all up in the tortilla nan, and then party with a curry burrito, and drink Horchata with it.

 

Yeah, what if right?

A girl can dream…

 

"look at this stuff, isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you say my collections complete?"

 

I don’t give a fuck.

I’m tough as shit.

Tough as nails.

Tough as some tough guy made out of nails.

Tough as your moms shitty pot roast.

Pot roast? More like, fuck your mom for being a terrible cook roast.

 

Why are you many people intolerable fucking cunts?

Seriously, what is their major malfunction?

 

People usually say "what’s up their ass?" about people that are intolerable cunts.

Except, people that walk around with butt plugs in, who actually have something up their ass, are usually probably pretty stoked to be walking around with something up their ass. So they are nice to people. They go around thinking to themselves, "I am so please that I can go grocery shopping and push my little cart down the little brightly colored food halls, buy my milk, bread, and eggs…and I have some big black butt plug up my ass right now, just marinating my ass grease. And there is none the wiser."

I am pleased with those people too. It takes a certain level of sexual deviance to get off on having your bung plugged up in public, and I think they get off more about the secret than actually being sodomised at all times.

 

God, I love sodomy.

 

I think it’s very important to include the word "God" in one of it’s many forms of use when exclaiming your love for sodomy.

 

You know what I don’t love though? Well, I was going to say the toy, Skip It…but I changed my mind. I liked those. I was going to say I didn’t like them because they didn’t circle your ankle as smoothly as in the commercials, but I just realized I could just be making that up. Maybe they swing around your leg with an effortless grace.

Anyway, it counts…anything that counts can’t be that bad right?

I like an abbicus.

Those things are pretty rad.

Speaking of counting…how the fuck does my Playstation 2 keep track of the date and time even when I leave it unplugged for a a few days. Seriously what’s up with that?

 

And what’s the deal with Seinfeld?

Get it?

What’s the deal with Seinfeld? Jerry my friend…my, how the tables have turned.

 

blah blah blah

 

This entry doesn’t even have a point.

I am just trying to keep myself from falling asleep.

I’m really pissed off that I’m at work right now actually.

Which doesn’t make sense, everyone has to work all the time, why should I feel so above it that I allow myself to be pissed about being here? That’s like being pissed you have to breathe.

wait, actually…I just realized why I am so pissed.

Everyone has to breathe, but not everyone has to work.

There are tons of people out there that have never had to work a day in their life.

Fuck those people.

Not literally…un-fuck those people.

Un-fuck them so hard.

I hope they never get fucked again, unless it’s a really bad lay.

And even then, I hope they only get one more lay and it’s a bad one…because even a really bad lay is still a lay.

I wonder how mnay times I can say lay for the rest of this entry?

Hmmm…turns out that was the last time I am going to say lay…OH SNAP! I did it again….but yeah, I just suddenly got really bored with this entry.

 

I’m going to walk to the gas station and buy myself a taquito and have myself a cigarette, and I will be happy about the thousands of chemicals I will be breathing, and the trans fat and grease and oils and over processed food and probably thousands of chemicals as well that I will be ingesting.

And I will feel myself getting fatter

and I will feel my lungs getting weaker

and people driving past me on the street will look at me and think to themselves, "that guy sucks"

and I will wave to them all with a miss america pagent winning wave…you know, the kind you do when you are riding on a float.

Maybe I will even smear vaseline on my teeth to keep that smile bright and shiny and 24 hours a day drive thru

 

Anyway….

Now it’s time for this:

 

 

 

Don’t hate the player

Hate the game.