My stomach hurts.

 Too much booze and not enough food. 

I havent thrown up blood in a few weeks, but from what I hear about blood in your shit, I’ve been shitting it. 

Gross right?

Yeah. 

A lot of things about me are pretty fucking disgusting. 

This whole divorce thing with my mom. 

It seriously blows. 

Rachael has been hanging out with me a lot at my moms. 

She slept over last night. 

When she left this morning it hurt really bad. I don’t know why…

maybe I do. 

Fuck. 

Every time she leaves now it feels like it might be the last time I ever see her. 

Maybe that’s crazy, but I don’t have any guarantee that she will be coming back. 

Fuck it if it is crazy anyway. 

I know I’m a little off. 

I keep having these really fucked up dreams. I mean, I’ve never really had happy dreams where I’m bummed out that I woke up or anything, but lately they have been extremely vivid. All of the people in my dreams actually look like themselves. 

I’ve had a lot of dreams with people I know, but they never actually look like themselves. 

And since I’m not sleeping well, I am stuck in this weird in-between state of dreaming and kind of being awake. 

Rachael says I’ve been talking in my sleep a lot more than usual. 

Lots of teeth falling out dreams. 

Those are the fucking worst. 

I had this one dream that has stuck with me. 

There was this strange girl, she was kind of ugly but I guess that she was trying to date me or something. At one point I am at this school that turns out to really be a bank. 

She somehow tricks me, my best friend Alec’s girlfriend, and my buddy Hoods into robbing this bank for something stupid like nine thousand dollars. 

So after this, the four of us go on "the run" except literally we are running and hiking. 

We end up at this strange treehouse playplace thing where there are all these stupid mirrors. I don’t want to go in, so I wait outside. 

The ugly girl comes out, and now she looks all crazy. Steam punk style, and the four of us keep hiking. 

Alec shows up, and his head is bald, and he starts to plead with Julianne that she needs to come home and just turn herself in. But this steam punk chick has some crazy hold on us. Alec starts to tell me that he knows I want something more than this. He asks me to think of Rachael and Echo. 

At that point I tell this steam punk girl that I’m out and everyone can just split up my share of the cash. 

She tells me that of course they are going to split up my share, but if I’m out then they are going to turn me in. 

The fucked up thing is that none of us can turn ourselves in. 

We end up on this giant dome, and it’s full of all of these steam punk kids. They are all running away from the law and they make it clear that we are one of them now. 

There is a lot of weird music at that point and things get a little hazy. I know something happened where I got hit with a football and one of my old managers was there coaching this renegade football team or something…I’m not clear on that really. 

But at the end of the dream, this steam punk girl ends up dry humping me and then cumming everywhere and then looks me in the eyes and says "I’m done giving people what they want. I’m taking what I want from now on."

I walked away and ran my tongue over my teeth and felt this loose tooth. 

Suddenly I was scrambling to push all of my teeth back in their sockets because they were all slipping out. 

I finally got infront of a mirror in time to actually watch myself slip all of my teeth out. 

That’s when I started to convince myself that I must be dreaming and that I needed to wake up. 

 

 

I dunno. 

 

 

Fuck everything.