Life is the weirdest thing I have ever done…

Seriously.

There is just so much I don’t understand.

It’s weird though because this wouldn’t bother me if I didn’t know that I have no understanding.

…

what the hell?

I wish I was better friends with myself.

I think that could make a lot of things a lot easier.

As it stands we are just roomates who hate eachother after twenty five long and difficult years.

I dunno…it’s weird.

Lately I have been going kind of crazy.

I’m trying to fight it, and do things to help prevent it all from taking over…but I just have all of these thoughts that I can’t stop from thinking. None of them are good either, at least not the ones I can’t stop thinking.

My dreams have been really weird lately too.

The other night I woke up completely convinced that I had trespassed into someone elses dream.

It was this feeling of complete voyeurism until at one point, only this one woman could see me and interact with me. She seemed shocked that I was there, almost like a violation of privacy, yet everyone and everything else around us in the dream seemed to carry on with what it was doing. Completely oblivious to me.

I started thinking about how when we sleep we might become transmitters and receivers for astral projection. Maybe it’s all as real, if not more real, than the bending of light we percieve as reality in our waking life.

The vibrations we think is noise.

The vibration of atoms that we percieve to be matter…

I don’t know.

There are these thoughts like this, and then there are the thoughts I have about myself, and then there are the thoughts I have about everyone else.

I don’t know how much of them are valid.

Sometimes I have a hard time telling the difference between a bad crazy or a bad real…a good crazy or a good real.

I’m kind of sick of talking about this…but it’s getting really different lately.

It’s not a sad kind of crazy feeling.

It’s kind of scarier than that…

I don’t like knowing which thoughts to take seriously and which ones to brush off.

hmm…

If I am going crazy, then I would assume I wouldn’t think anything is wrong. I guess that’s what they say.

But…

Something is kind of going wrong.

So, what the hell does that mean?