I’ll never get anything right.

I

hate

this.

 

I can’t shake this little feeling that I never did anything right.

 

I’m sick of hearing about how this pisses people off.

I’m sick oif hearing about how people think I am self indulgent.

I’m just tired of it.

I’m just tired.

Fuck anyone for claiming for one second that they know how I feel.

And fuck you if you think that there are other people who have felt this exact way.

And fuck you if you think you have.

And fuck you if you think I am an asshole for saying this.

Because I can empathize sometimes, but I have no idea how anyone actually feels, or what they think, or how it is to have lived their life, because I am only me.

So you know what? This is my place to write what I am thinking. To write what I am feeling.

And sometimes I feel like shit.

Right now? I feel worthless and pathetic.

Maybe even hopeless.

And people just want to kick me when I am down.

Where I feel like I am in a safe place to vent…

Honestly, if your car engine just wouldn’t start, would you sit and hit it with a wrench to try to coax it into working?

 

Just think about it.

 

And honestly…at this stage in my life.

I don’t need to hear about how big of an asshole I am…

So just save it.

Thank you.