I really REALLY care a lot about apathy.

(This is the way I honestly feel about this whole 911 thing.)

 My epitaph is a short and simple one; "Here lies a stone hearted drunk and a worthless son."

That’s a line from the last song on the new album we are working on…I think I really want that on my stone.

It’s fitting.

I guess I’m not completely stone hearted, but I’m damn near close.

I am a drunk though.

And a worthless son/brother/friend/boyfriend/person.

I’m no good at taking care of a kid either.

 

I’m good at smoking cigarettes. And holding my liquor.

I’m good at being a dick and hating people.

I’m good at making people feel bad.

I’m also good at feeling sorry for myself if I’ve had enough to drink and it’s really late and everyone else is asleep.

Some people think I’m good at writing songs, but I just lump that into the aformentioned cattegory of feeling sorry for myself.

Dane and the Death Machine is nothing but a bunch of whining.

 

Anyway, every once in a while something happens that reminds me that I might actually be a bad person.

A while ago it was that Michael Jackson thing. The first time I was just confused by how his death turned a whole world of Michael Jackson shit talkers, into a whole world of blubbering pussies crying about a person they thought was a child melester just the day before the news.

Then on the anniversary it was just annoying.

I got that same feeling with this anniversary of 911 bullshit.

Dumbasses are wanting to burn the Quran

and everyone is freaking out about this Muslim Cultural center as if religious freedom isn’t a huge part of what makes America America.

Then there’s all of the "We must never forget" bull shit going on…never forget what? You think people are just going to be walking around Manhattan one day and just wonder what the hell was at ground zero, and maybe speculate at the idea they are building some sort of new multiplex or something?

Plus there was more footage that everyone has seen, blah blah blah.

You know, that’s fucking great if you teach kids in school about it, because it’s a part of history now, but are we really going to sit and hold on to all of this anger with a such a bitter slogan as "We must NEVER FORGET". It’s just like…Jesus Christ get on with your lifes.

I know a shit load of people died…and here’s the really shitty part, I wish I felt bad about that but I don’t. I can understand why some people do, and that’s totally fucking fine, but don’t try to make ME feel bad just because YOU do, ya know what I’m saying? I don’t have any friends in New York, I don’t even have that many friends period, and guess what? Most of my friends are dead anyway…which is probably why I don’t have very many anymore.

Drugs are bad.

But, call me an asshole or cold hearted or apathetic or whatever you want…but I read about faceless people dying every day all around the world, I just can’t really start up the water works every time it happens.

I don’t even feel threatened that "my country" got attacked. I feel absolutely no connection to myself and what happened that day at all.

I don’t hate America, but I don’t fucking love it.

I’m glad I don’t live in some shit hole somewhere in Africa, or walled in in North Korea or anything, but even if I did…that’s where I would be, that’s what I would know…I’d just deal with it until I died because that’s what people do.

I just happened to be born in America, I happen to live here. I don’t like war one way or another, mostly because I am too lazy to want to really go out and fight against someone for problems that I didn’t start. 

I remember sitting in home room in the morning of 911. All the tv’s in every class were on. Kids were crying, every one was so bummed out, blah blah blah…I’m sure you all had some sort of similar experience.

I couldn’t take it anymore, so a buddy of mine and I skipped the rest of the day and went to his house watching cartoons on dvd and taking bong rips…I had a way better day that day than most people in the world I think. Does that make me a bad person? I dunno…but I still had a better day than you.

I guess I’m just writing this because I have seen all of the weird things that have been going on over the 9 year (what the hell is a nine year anniversary anyway? Jesus Christ…) anniversary of this whole mess, and I have always kind of avoided giving my real opinion on the situation because people don’t like to hear it when you don’t take on the validity of their pain. I will never understand the notion of, "I hurt, so you should hurt too…WHY DON’T YOU HURT LIKE I HURT?!?!?!?!?!?!?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

I mean, if I was riding on a four wheeler with someone and we dropped off a cliff and I couldn’t move my legs and I was bleeding from everywhere, and the other person just got up and dusted themselves off and jogged away I would be a little weirded out about them not hurting like I hurt.

But don’t force your emotions on me.

I’m not going to go around telling people that lost family members and loved ones in the "attack" to "STOP HURTING LIKE I DON’T HURT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH DETACH YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY!"

It just doesn’t seem fair that people can do it to me. I dunno.

I mean, this summer alone thousands of people died in China from a mudslide, and Russia from a heatwave, and people are dying in this fire in San Francisco…and I do have friends in Frisco, but I’m not flipping out over it.

If one of my friends dies, I will hear about it…I will be kind of bummed out, but even then it’s not the end of the world. Like I said, most of my friends are dead…it happens.

Now, I can understand how some people felt insecure and frightened by the idea that we as a nation are not as invincible as we thought we were…but what kind of dumbass would think we were anyway? That’s just fucking retarded.

Of course we’re not, and we piss a lot of people in a lot of countries off ALL THE TIME. Shit was bound to happen.

I thought it was in poor taste to go and digitally edit out shots of the trade towers in movies that were in post production when this all happened.

The patriot act bullshit was also just shockingly retarded.

The way people were pissing themselves on a weekly basis over another rumour of a terrorist attack, as if terrorists are just waiting in our closets so that when we get all tucked into bed and turn off they lights they can jump out and oogey-boogey us with a suicide bomb.

I dunno…I think almost everyone is retarded.

I’m not going to say I’m glad the planes crashed into the towers, I’m not going to say that I’m glad that people died…but moping about it for nine years is not going to bring anyone back or change anything, and throwing little baby dip shit tantrums over a Muslim center being built seven blocks away from "ground

zero" (I fucking hate calling it ground zero by the way…I even hate referring to this whole debaucle as "911".) just makes people look like immature little pussies who don’t have anything REAL to spend their time fighting for.

And I can’t believe that some people have had the nerve to call "Ground zero" sacred ground.

Sacred?

I mean…really?

 

And I don’t even want to get into any of this loose change bullshit conspiracy theory stuff about how our own government blew up the buildings and blah blah blah…yeah, it brings up some good points, and honestly to me the buildings looked like they fell demolition team style, so there. But none of that is the point, the only thing that every one can agree on is that planes hit the buildings and people died. I don’t really care to know more about it than that.

It comes back to this whole apathy thing. I really just don’t care if our government did it or not. Even if they didn’t, they are still a bunch of old crooked piece of shit men who kill people all the time to line their pockets, so what are you really going to accomplish by shedding light on this one? We all know they are evil men, you don’t get to be in a position of political power without fucking people over and stepping on a few heads, and probably rubbing a few people out.

 

Anyway, I care about a few people. I swear I do.

It’s just a short list.

And there are too many bad things going on around the world ALL THE TIME to be able to justify to myself exerting too much energy on just one bad thing.

So, for everyone that lost someone they love in the falling of the towers, get through your shit. Getting through shit is never easy, but you can do it.

For everyone else, shut the fuck up about this god damn thing already, at this point it just seems like you are whoring out the legitimate pain of other people and it’s kind of disgusting.

 

BOOM!

I’m done.