I never knew I spoke in code…hmmm

So, I have an E-mail account with yahoo. Sometimes when I go to check it I click on some of those yahoo news blurb things that are usually less news than entertainment, but man…WHAT ENTERTAINMENT IT IS!

WOOOOOO!

GO YAHOO NEWS! YEAH!

 

okay.

So just now I found an article that started like this.

"Do you understand “guy-talk?” Can you comprehend all the subtle — and not-so-subtle — nuances of his secret language? If you’re a woman, chances are the answer is: sort of, kind of, er, not really. “Men don’t always say what they mean,” says Scott Haltzman, M.D., a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. “And sometimes we say what we mean but women understand it completely differently.” All in all, that means that cracking the code can be difficult — but not impossible. To give you a head start, we talked to relationship experts and real guys to shed some light on some of a guy’s most common lines — and what in the world he really means by them."

Guy talk?

Cracking the code?

I mean…what the fuck are they talking about?

The only times I say something and don’t mean it are when I’m making up stories or being sarcastic.

Since when do guys go around spouting out double-speak?

Seriously.

what the hell?

If the metro-sexuals are to blame for this, they’s gonna get a beating.

The only guys that go around double speaking shit are dirty rotten douche bag liars, and anyone can be a dirty rotten douche bag liar.

If guys start pulling girl tricks and double speaking their way through life, then no one would ever be saying anything that made sense and the world would just lite on fire.

Seriously, when I’m hungry I eat.

When I’m gassy I fart.

When I’m tired I fart…I mean, sleep.

When I’m horny I (try to talk rachael into) fuck(ing me).

When I come down I smoke more meth.

It’s fucking simple!

Guys are simple!

We have to be, because girls are complex to a degree that borders on insanity.

This article is just going to end up confusing girls even more, because it’s going to make sense to them. They will sit there reading it and think to themselves, "I think this way, so of course guys must, this will give me so much insight!" And then all the sudden we’re not going to be able to say anything and have it processed in a womans head that what we just said is what we actually mean! It will be chaos! Men around the world will be starting fights for announcing they are going to go get a cup of coffee from the break room, or asking a girl how their weekend was, or saying, "Hey baby…you know your really cute friend, Jessica? How about we invite her over for a threesome?"

It will fucking be chaos!

 

Imma throw a beat down on some metro-sexuals and that "dr" who wrote the stupid "book" that this comes from.

I’m feeling all shooty.