Hobo With A Shotgun

Is the best movie I have seen in a long time.

Seriously. If you have netflix, go watch it. Now. Even if you have already seen it. Go watch again. NOW!
I’m not fucking kidding, stop reading this and come back to it if you have to, but go watch it now.

I’m sick of people, so you can imagine how sick of all of this Occupy bullshit and rumors about this bill that will basically just fuck the constitution in the ass, and Anonymous, and blah blah blah facebook jackoff whatever bullshit….I am.

I’m sick of it.

Through history it has been proven that freedom can only be purchased with blood. So, all this peaceful protest shit is just good for a laugh. Talk to me when you’re ready to get real.

 

So Hobo With A Shotgun was the perfect movie for my happy little heart.

I have spent this whole weekend by myself, and it’s been great, and it has allowed me the freedom to draw, watch movies, write, do dishes, and hang around getting to know myself.

One thing I found out, is that I love Hobo With A Shotgun.

"You can’t solve the world’s problem’s with a shotgun" -Says the hooker to the hobo.

Well, turns out she was wrong, cuz mother fucker solved some problems!

Basically, the story is about some homeless dude that was train hopping, then he ends up in this town where everyone is just fucking everyone else up ALL THE TIME! I mean, seriously, there are these crazy arcade places where people just kill people for fun. How badass is that? And even the cops are in on it. So no one can do ANYTHING!

For some reason, this homeless guy want’s to buy a lawn mower. And I mean, he REALLY wants this thing. Almost to the point of tears. I don’t really get it, but this is the kind of movie that you aren’t really supposed to "get" or "Think too much about". It’s the kind of movie where you put it on and just say "Fuck yeah!". Seriously, it’s a camp masterpiece.

Anyway, he eats glass for some guy who films the equivelant of Bum Fights, and gets enough money to go buy this lawn mower at a pawn shop, but the pawn shop gets robbed at gun point, and the dudes point the gun at a baby! A BABY IN A STROLLER!  SUPER BADASS! But Hobo doesn’t think it’s that cool, so he notices that this shotgun on the wall is the same price as the lawn mower, so he grabs that and blows the robbers away. Then, guess what he does? THAT’S RIGHT! Hey pays for the shotgun!

Vigilante + 10

From there on out, everyone dies ALL THE TIME!

Seriously, it’s just gore. So much gore.

At some point these demon robots show up. Where did they come from? Seemingly hell, in the basement of the bad guy’s lair. Do they try to explain the demon robots any farther than that?

NOPE!

And if they would have tried to, it would have been a waste of time because, honestly, who cares where the demon robots came from? The only thing that matters is that they are there, and they are fucking everyone up! Hooker is in the hospital, and Hobo is checking on her, and then EVERYONE DIES!

 

The ending of the movie is even kick ass.

Everything about this movie is kick ass.

I don’t want to hang out with people anymore. I want to just keep watching camp movies by myself for the rest of my life.