Day three

I don’t really have a whole lot of interesting stuff to say.

I’m into day three now of no drop living.

It’s dumb that I should even be counting days, let alone talking about "day three" as if it is some big deal.

I’m not absolutely certain, but I think a lot of people go three days without drinking and don’t even realise or think about it.

I’ve heard there are people like that anyway.

 

So, anyway…

This hasn’t been as bad as other times. I mean, before this weekend I hadn’t gotten drunk in a while, I had a few beers here and there, but I had really toned it down. Plus, before the near fight experience at Beto’s, I had already decided that night that it would be best for me if I just put down the bottle for a long long time.

When I woke up on friday there was no hang over, no throwing up, and I didn’t feel like I was being shamed into a decision because of my actions the night before.

Honestly, I don’t care much for my health…that’s not a factor in this, and if it was up to me I couldn’t care less if I spent the rest of my life drinking myself into a stuper and living in a gutter and blah blah blah…I mean, I would rather live another way but I can adapt to some pretty heinous shit.

But what it comes down to is that I have to get some shit done right now, some pretty serious shit. I mean, I want to be someone who can take care of Rachael, but there is a kid involved too you know? And I chose into this thing, it was my decision to be here for them, and as big of a dick as I have been and can be…I really don’t want to be a dick on this one.

Also…drinking has just become boring.

It’s become boring and a waste of my time and money.

These last few days, I will admit I have gotten a little bored a few times, but when I get bored I have to find something to do and then I’m not bored anymore. It’s not just being bored…so then I drink and keep doing whatever the hell it was that was boring me.

So, it’s easier to not drink going into it this way.

It’s my decision, one that I made for no other reasons than these, and I don’t want to do something that I don’t like anymore you know?

Yeah…

Wait until a few months from now when the entry comes where I start to drunkenly ramble about how I can’t stop drinking right?

I’m just saying, everyone else is expecting it.

I would be lying to say I’m not too.

But maybe I can surprise us all.

even myself.

maybe.