Be a Man Magnet!

 

 

There are ways of behaving that drive men crazy. But there are also ways that drive them absolutely bonkers. Most (though not all) are a subset of one attraction-killing misconception: The belief that a relationship will somehow save or complete you. Find out more.

‘Crazy’ is good .. ‘Bonkers’ is NOT!   When I’m driven crazy by a female, she’s burrowing under my skin.  I can’t get enough of her!  Every word and gesture fries my resistance to a relationship, (in SOME form with her) to a dusty ash ..  and piques my interest to ‘absorb’ her into my life at all cost or wither up and die!  My heart pounds!  I get dry in the mouth and my body swells (if you know what I mean), with a red hot desire to be one with her or explode!  Is THAT crazy???

While ‘bonkers’ on the other hand, ignites the destroy complex and compels me to build walls of defense, sharpen my verbal weapons of warfare and practice finger pointing for using, when another more naive male is present ..
‘Take HIM!! .. TAKE HIM!!!’   This is a one-handed maneuver, as my meat hook is cupped tightly in the other hand, held (somewhat) secure, while tucked between my shaky legs.

Neediness: The ultimate man repellent

When is the last time you heard a man say, "Hey, I met this really hot needy chick last night!"? Never is right. Relentlessly saying, "I miss you," throwing (not so) silent temper tantrums when you don’t have his full attention and feeling an insatiable desire for his approval are all classic needy behaviors. Neediness puts undue pressure on a man to the point where he feels responsible for your happiness. When you render yourself powerless, that’s anything but irresistible.

My word for it is ‘spectecle’, like a three year old on the  grocery floor or the arenas of ancient Rome, when everyone gathered to watch what they wouldn’t want to be a part of and seeing it, makes their relationship more bearable.  There’s no easy exit from it for a man.  He’ll say and do things that sacrifice his ideals and rupture his impressions of the man he is .. was.
He surrenders his honor to save himself.

Incessant Insecurity

"Do I look fat?" "Is she prettier than me?"   Those questions drive men nuts and feeds your ego illusion that you’re somehow deficient and "less than." It’s an illusion .. because it’s false.   Yes, everyone feels insecurity and self-doubt from time to time, but the key to being irresistible is not to indulge or entertain these thoughts.   Here’s a tip: If you think you look fat in a particular outfit, go through your wardrobe and find an outfit that showcases your assets. 

Don’t collar HIM to define the person you are.  Find that in your own mind, using your own skills to put your best foot forward.  If you think you look fat, in an outfit, you probably do.  Are you testing his supidity or tact? 
 
Clueless Communicator

Most of us don’t really listen. What we do is judge whether we like or dislike what a man is saying to us, decide whether we agree or disagree with what he’s saying, or determine whether we know it already. True listening happens when you drop those internal conversations and simply hear what a man is saying to you. When you truly listen, you become instantly attractive.

Men calculate before they speak, most of the time.   But, not while you are talking.  We sift what you say and answer you.  We prefer a fluid conversation that’s smooth and coherent at whatever tempo is comfortable. Surprises, questions out of the blue or comments from nowhere, set off small explosions in our train of thought.  We shift gears to keep things going, but aren’t sure where that is. This ‘confusion’ tactic isn’t expected or appreciated.  If you want us to listen, be attentive as well.

Sloppy and Unkept Appearance

Yes, men will love you for your caring, affectionate ways, your wit and devilish charm, but come on! Give them a chance to experience all your fabulousness by wrapping it in an attractive package. How you look impacts how you feel. And if you’re looking dumpy, chances are you’re feeling dumpy, and men are feeling your dumpiness, too. You don’t have to obsess or strive for some unrealistic ideal of perfection. But pay attention and take care of yourself.

This might come down to wearing what ‘fits’ you.  If your body has changed, faster than your wardrobe. Go shopping! 

Hardened and Bitter Attitude

Women like this usually take on a certain thin, stern look. They appear stony and tired. It’s as though their girlish spirit and soft, womanly charm have been sucked out with a straw. In case you haven’t guessed, this is a result of repressed anger. Let it out. Let it go. And lighten up! Rather than playing Medea or the victim, take a new role: The heroine and leading lady in your life.

Whether you are or not, this behavior projects beauty, fertility, confidence and success to a man.  It creates a ‘buzz’ in him that’s hard for him to understand, yet easy to be felt.  He might describe you as ‘having something’ to his friends.  The ‘something’ is an ‘irresistable appeal’ and he’ll be the moth to your flame, until you turn the light off, with a stony, tired look.  Where have I seen that??

Catty and Critical

Many women find it challenging to acknowledge and compliment other irresistible women, especially in the presence of their man. Insecure women will criticize other women’s clothing, shoes, hair, etc. This backfires by casting you in a bad light. You’re seen as insecure and jealous. Here’s the other thing. By bad-mouthing attractive women, you unconsciously program yourself not to become one.

A tug on his leash, tells him your limits, more than it does his.  You can easily regain his attention (and his curiosity) by joining him in his wonderlust, with one  well-timed comment.   Look at what he’s watching, say a tight fitting in a pair of jeans that just passed and whisper .. ‘mmm, I’d like to have some of that’ (or words to that effect) and marvel at his panting tongue and wagging tail.  It makes him acutely aware of your sensuality.  From that point on, you can say your tart remarks and have him in the palm of your hand.  "Oh, nooo .. not her .. I wouldn’t touch her!’
  
Boring in Bed

You don’t have to install a stripper pole in your bedroom or get into hardcore role play (although both could be fun), but you need to be honest about your sexuality and whether or not you hold back in between the sheets. A subset of boring sex is doing it just to get it over with. What could be more unattractive?   Practice being naughty and initiate sex much more frequently.  Last but not least, tell him, show him, guide him to pleasuring you. He will love you for it.

Don’t let ‘lover’ s

lip out of your relationship description or one of you will fall into bed with someone else, who’s starving for some physical attention.  Sex doesn’t HAVE to be defined, as copulation, or confined to rituals and the bedroom. It should be an adventure, with change and communication.    

    
Break "The Rules"

Dating rules are designed out of fear and scarcity. They exist to keep your partner off-balance so he has to keep wondering about you and put his attention on you. This is not true love; it’s a game of manipulation. Never call a man. Never make the first move. Don’t talk too much. There are times when they are absolutely the thing to do. You can break every rule in the book when you’re in touch with your own irresistibility.

Remember, men go nuts, when parts of you jiggle that don’t jiggle on him.  Those ‘worries’  you have about body image are yours.  However, just as some women don’t like hairy chests, others do .. so it is, with men. Some like small breasts and wide hips .. some like pretty faces, regardless of body shapes .. some like wide mouths and big eyes .. some could care less.  How are you going to know and comply without being confident that nature DOES have a plan for you, like it or not?  Is YOUR plan to be irresistible to ALL men?  That won’t happen.  But, if you’re comfortable with YOU and can make a man feel comfortable around you, you’ll knock his socks off, with his shirt and pants.

Trash Your Perfect Man List

Using a perfect man checklist makes it nearly impossible to attract the right man for you. Your ideas of perfect are narrow and limiting. They come from what you already know, which means they are derived from the past — not the present and certainly not the future. What if someone beyond your wildest dreams is just around the corner waiting for you if you are open enough to see him?

The alternative is to continue creating a longer list and losing your chance to be happy now.   Live for what can be, instead of what has been.

Forget the Battle of the Sexes

It’s impossible to attract a loving and satisfying relationship with a man, and have it last, if you are a secret .. or not-so-secret .. man-hater. Tendencies to watch out for include looking for ways to prove women have it harder, making (or laughing at) male-bashing jokes or spending more time complaining about men, than actually being with them. And even if you keep those kinds of thoughts to yourself, don’t make the mistake of thinking you’ve got a secret. Your thoughts are palpable and resonate with others.

Drop Your Story

When a man asks you to tell him about yourself, your personal story is what comes out. There are the basic facts (education, politics, spirituality) and there’s the various ways in which you label yourself: I’m bad with money. I’m unattractive. I’m too old. When you drop your story and allow yourself to be simply who you are right now, you instantly become more alive, more engaged and more irresistible.

Quit Complaining and Start Engaging

Whether silently or aloud, complaining is a major man repellant. What you’re saying is, My life is not how it should be. This victimizes you, creates stress and has a negative impact on your appearance. That being said, men are attracted to more than a woman’s looks. It’s how she makes him feel. Women who are complaint-free make men feel good because they themselves feel good.

Get a Life and Keep It

You have a unique purpose on earth — and it’s not to twist yourself into a pretzel to fit some idea of what a man thinks you should be. If he’s really attracted to you, there’s no need to break plans with your girlfriend (last minute!) just to be with him or fail to make time for anything or anyone else. Expand your world. Don’t shrink to his.

Be ‘Take-Me-Home-Now’, Gorgeous!

Perfect packaging is the art of making your outer appearance a natural and irresistible extension of your inner fox. That doesn’t necessary mean dressing provocatively or inappropriately for your age and taste. It’s about taking care of yourself — clothes, hair , makeup, staying fit — in a way that’s in concert with your desire to be irresistible and have satisfying relationships with men.

From ‘Make Every Man Want You’ by Marie Forleo ~ with edits from Dandytime