ARE YOU SEXY?

     It amazes me how many ways there are to be ‘sexy’ and how attempts to be so are often hit or miss conclusions, because as the saying goes, one’s treasure is another’s trash.  In other words, we’re one species, identified into two genders (primarily) and what influences each of us to determine what ‘turns us on’ is as varied as the stars in the sky.  I recognize that there are broad guidelines that we all rely on, but they are, for the most part, physical ones.  We can form ‘ideals’ with these tried and true guides, but they’re only one plateau, one level of ‘sexual’ chemistry.

     The truth be told, our age, era, upbringing, persona, habits, interests and so on ~ ALL have an influence on us in the ‘sexy’ question that titles this entry.
 
     ‘Are you sexy?’  without a doubt, my answer is absolutely!  The unfortunate side to that reality is how quickly we change horses in mid stream, because we aren’t confident enough to pursue our own path, because we surrender our ‘power’ to others.  We do it far too much, often soliciting critizism that feeds our doubts in ourselves.  Females are much more prone to be victims of this and give the reasoning that its the male of the species that makes them so.  The male .. who never forms a liasion with another male over matters of sex and women.   We form liasions for control, not sex or attractiveness. Our interests are war and weapons, principle and peace.  We’re wired to get the job done, build or destroy for reasons of rule.  This is true of our work and our play.
 
     I often hear a female’s lament that she attracts the ‘wrong’ kind of man.  I never hear men say that of women.  We aren’t living to avoid a ‘wrong’ kind of woman.  The beauty of a man isn’t the same as that of a woman, except in the ‘classic’ sense, and again this is physical.  If the physical was the highest priority, than we’d have extinguished our parents long before they expired on their own.  Then, we could be a society of beautiful people, but beauty carries its own standards differently in each of us.  Whatta mess, sorting that out would be!
 
     We’ve all heard a compliment that we’ve never heard before. The one I heard and never forgot was from a high school sweetheart that was a first love. 
 
     "What attracted you to me" I asked, after we’d dated for some time.  I was hoping to discover a surefire plus for my ego.   She had come out of nowhere to stand by me at a dance and returned to her ‘spot’ beside me (once I’d returned to my spot) and her tenacious attention that evening began a relationship that led to my question and a memory.
 
     "Oh, I don’t know.  I liked your forearms."
 
     "My FOREarms?!" I quieried, pointing at my arms from wrist to elbow, in amazement.  "These!?"
 
     "Yeah, they looked strong and I liked their shape".
 
     Needless to say, I rolled my sleeves up more often, after that!  I DID use flexing grips in my weight training to make my handshake more firm.   I never expected it to get me a girlfriend.  She never mentioned smile or personality.   I still include them as an asset to my body, but have never gotten the remark again.
 
     Perhaps, its the death of chivilry or the collapse of courting, but a woman’s psyche needs a boost as often as she can get one.  Her role, even today, isn’t an easy one.  ‘Compliments’ seem to fall on deaf ears, when women’s lib moved through our nation years ago.  But, both genders benefited from those verbal slights of hand.  Men could exhibit respect and interest without commiting too quickly and a women could be gracious and humble without feeling too vulnerable or submissive.  But, that’s not my point here.
 
     There’s a mystical magic sparked in a guy by a female. Her gender alone perks his interest and tickles his groin.  He’s immediately up for the match of wits with you, even if that’s not really true. In his mind, he’s meat for your table.  You may want a finer cut or a more tender sirloin, but you have a man to slice up or suck on at your leisure.   Like any meal, it won’t last forever, at this point.  You may need to season and age him to discover his worth.  Afterall, he’s just a man.  But, he’s sizing you up too.  
 
     He may stick around for the sight of you for a time, but it’ll be your ability to make him comfortable, welcomed .. that’ll keep him coming back.  Bad breath, fighting for the lead and rudeness are turn offs .. not learned challenges that have to be overcome to be called a man.  When you challenge his manhood, with preconceived notions of his gender, based on the last asshole YOU chose, you say more about you, than him.  
 
     ‘Sexy’ IS a state of mind.  Confidence and good self-esteem will overcome any shortcomings you see in your idea of you.   Remember that a man sees other attractive attributes in you, just as you do men.  Your details .. smile, skin, teeth, fingernails, hands, dimples, hair, clothing, birthmarks, scars, tanlines, disposition are all being registered as you’re being engaged.   The ‘wrong’ kind  or the ‘right’ kind to deal with says you’re attractive and have decisions to make.  If you make the wrong decision, own it and go on.   Don’t pass it on, to the next guy.  Relationships ARE NOT our strong point.
 
      If you want to be a ‘keeper’, don’t cater to sex so quickly.  We KNOW we’re out of control on that.   We want a female that knows how to reign us in, without breaking our neck.  Your sexiest parts have nothing to do with sex, unless your signs have it painted boldly on them.  When sex IS your priority, don’t expect a fierce fight for your love.  It will keep us in your bed, but not in your life and it should NEVER be a weapon or tool to manipulate us.  Would you like an allowance given freely routinely all you can spend, suddenly stopped, unless you saw things our way?  These are expressions of friendship, not tyranny.
 
     Yes, you’re sexy as hell.. we KNOW it, you need to believe it and learn to master it for the sake of your most sought after currency .. LOVE.