“Who are you?”

"And why are you so dumb?"

-Tremors 2

  Good eve to all.  I felt like I should write, but there’s not really much to write about.  I’m stuck in a transitional part of my life.  I don’t know if I got the job for certain yet and it seems like everything hinges on that one point.  I know it doesn’t but I feels that way. 

  I wish I weren’t in this situation.  But I don’t know what to do about it either.  I’m tired of failing and I’m tired of finding myself in situations where I’ve tried my best but everything else is falling apart. 

  I was trying hard to finish my degree and then the financial aid department decided to cancel my aid.  I was doing well at my job with the university research group and then they couldn’t find funding to keep me on.  I was doing okay at my job doing data entry, then the company loses a contract and they start firing people for random things.

  The university is screwed up but no one wants to admit it because it would take so many changes to make some kind of difference.  The economy went down the tubes and the first thing that usually takes a hit is education, in my case the grants that government and private groups give to research.  The management at the data entry place screws up the workload, a major client drops us as a provider, and we at the bottom are the ones that suffer.

  I’ve made my share of mistakes, but I just feel like I’m stuck in one bad situation after another.  It makes me feel worthless.  I’m still applying for other jobs, I’m not just sitting around waiting for the UPS one.  Still, though, for all the time I’ve put it, all I’ve got is a stack of rejection emails.

  I just wish I could find something so I could feel like I’m making some progress in my life.

-Damien