“They weren’t wearing their seat belts”

-Payback

  Good eve to all.  Its been an interesting day.  I got a call late this morning.  It was from one of the jobs that I applied for, they wanted me to come in to sign some background check forms.  If I clear all those then I’ve got the job.  Technically I have the job, but I don’t want to celebrate until everything is clear and they’ve told me a day to come in to work. 

  I guess its just that its been such a long road looking for a good job.  So, now that I’m so close I’m afraid of getting excited if something happens and they decide not to give me the job after all.  I know that sounds paranoid, its not like I have anything that would raise red flags on my background checks.  Like I said, its just that its been such a long and frustrating road.

  Something else did come up, not professionally, but personally.  One of the forms they gave me asked for three references.  It said personal, so no supervisors present or former, no relatives, no boy/girlfriends.

  So after alot of thought I was only able to put one person.  Only one person that isn’t a relative, a former employer, or an ex.  Only one person that I knew and knew me well enough for me to put as a work reference.  It made me sad to realize that.  It took that one form to realize that I have only one friend that I really know.

  And, on top of that, he doesn’t even live here anymore.  So I have no friends here at home.  The only people close to me are family, which isn’t bad at all.  Just friends are different than family.  I guess that’s why I’ve been depressed.  That’s been in the back of my mind for awhile now.  It took that form to bring back to the front of my mind.  But I don’t know what to do about it.  I’ve never been very good at meeting people.

Don’t really know what else to say.  I’m going to go try to distract myself.  Good night to all.

-Damien