Failure *edit*

  Today is not starting off well. I had an interview today at 10am.  I got ready and groomed, ironed my slacks and shirt.  Drove to the interview and got down there in time.  However, never having been there I didn’t know where I could park.  Most of the government buildings are there so there’s alot of ‘no parking’ areas and that place is full of one way streets.

  I drove around, had to circle around more than once, trying to navigate traffic, not crash into anyone, and still look around for a place to park.  Finally I found a nearby parking garage, but I had to circle around cause I was in the wrong lane when I spotted it.  Finally I make my way down to the building, where I had to go through metal detectors, another thing I didn’t know.  Then, practically ran to the office I was supposed to be at.  It was 10:10 am.  They refused to see me because I was late.

  So I’m back at home, sitting here and not knowing what to think.  Was the job just not meant for me?  Am I just a screw-up?  Was it fate? Bad luck?  Or just bad planning on my part?  I’ve been depressed lately, but this just adds to it.  I wish I knew what I was supposed to do.  What I want to do.  But when you’re depressed, it gets hard to find interest even in the things you usually enjoy.

  I’m going to make myself go out in a little while, try to find something to make the day better.

-Damien

Edit – On a related note, later today I got an email from the other job I interviewed for.  They said that I had made the cut from the inital pool of applicants.  So I guess that means I’m closer to possibly getting the job, but I don’t know how many other applicants I’m still competing against.  This probably should make me feel better but it doesn’t.  If I get the job that would be great.  But now that they tell me I’m closer to getting it, if they don’t choose me that makes the loss greater.  Don’t know if that makes sense to anyone else.