Evermore…

Good eve to all. Not too great here. It’s just stuff that I’m always dealing with I guess, but sometimes it worse than other times. Clinical depression has always run in my family. So I deal with it everyday. As said, some days are better than others. I guess it could be worse, I could be popping meds for it. Not that there’s anything wrong with people doing that…but it’s not in my nature to depend on things. Anyway, it’s just been pretty bad as of late. I’ve never really been able to talk to my family, so that’s a dead end. And before anyone decides to leave a note on suggestions for family issues, please save it. I’ve tried everything reasonable and I have no desire to hear the same advice over and over for things I’ve already tried over and over. I’ve been having problems with my best friend lately and he’s also my only friend in town so that pretty much cuts off that avenue there too. I realize that alot of this is pretty vague, but I feel no motivation in giving details at the moment. All my other friends live out of town so I don’t really get to talk to them like I’d like or to even see them. My bank account isn’t doing too well either. Work has not been giving me much in the way of hours. I think I got like two days of work this past week and neither of those days was a full shift either. So my account isn’t gonna get too much better anytime soon. So, frustration, lonliness, depression. Not exactly the greatest of combinations. I think I’ve been getting more cynical lately too. And not in the greatest of ways either. On top of that I believe I’m getting jaded by anything have to do with a relationship. Just too much shit has happened lately in respect to that so I guess it can’t be helped. Sometimes I feel full of rage for all these things. But it doesn’t do me much good to feel that way. There’s probably more but I think I’ll stop here for tonight. Beautiful dreams to all.

Tenchi

“…the cultivation of the mind, the body, and the soul, and we must always cultivate the soul.”