Dreams and Reality

  Good day to all.  There’s another entry before this one and it would be nice if you were to read both. 

  But as I mentioned in the last entry, every once in awhile I get these dreams.  They’re usually when I’m single, lonely, etc. but not always.  I can’t explain why these dreams happen or the reason for them but they happen nevertheless.  I group these dreams together because even though they are all different in people, places, situations, the feelings in each of them are the same every time.  Its the same experience, just in a different way each time.  Does that make sense?  In any case, before I talk more about the dreams as a whole, I’ll tell you what I can remember about last night’s dream.

  The dreams all start out very similar.  I’m in a place that’s familiar to me, but there are subtle differences.  Like the last one I had, I was in my living room at home, but the fireplace was in a different place and of a different style.  Anyway, in this one I was at the university, in one of my classrooms, but the classroom was bigger, the lighting was different, and some of the people in there were people from my other classes, some were people I recognized, some I didn’t.  I’m sitting there in the back, just relaxing.  We were done with class, but for some reason we had to stay there until time was up.  So, everyone was just hanging out and talking.  I look to my right and up the row next to me and catch the eye of this girl in a cheerleading uniform, but it wasn’t the university’s colors, it was the colors of one of the high schools here.  I wink at her and she grins and kind of blushes before going back to talking to her friends.  Somehow I know she’s talking about something having to do with me, like bragging about something I did or can do.  Anyway, class finishes not too long after and she runs over and almost jumps in my arms and kisses me and then we leave the class, hand in hand.

  But when we get outside, it doesn’t look like the university.  Its kind of like my old university, but not the same.  So we’re walking around, talking and joking.  Then one of her friends calls her name from the steps of a nearby building.  Her name is Christina.  I’ve had friends named Christina, but none of them look like this girl.  She’s shorter than me, like maybe 5’3 or 5’4, slender athletic build, light brown with blonde hair.  She’s got soft green eyes and dimples when she smiles.  Anyway, instead of just running off to greet her friend, she grabs my hand with both of hers and pulls me with her.  I can’t remember any of the conversation, just that I was included in it.  It wasn’t like I was just standing there.  Then we left and were just walking around, talking and laughing.  The sun was out and it was warm, with a slight breeze blowing.  I remember because her hair was loose and it would move with the wind.  We stopped at some building and I was just leaning against it and she was leaning against me with my arms around her little waist.  She turned around and just looked into my eyes and was caressing my face.  She had small, soft hands.  We kissed and I held her.

  Then I woke up.  It wasn’t time to get up yet so I managed to go back to sleep for another half hour and suprisingly enough, I was able to go back to the dream.  Christina and I were just playing around in the grass on this wide lawn in front of one of the buildings.  Then we were just lying in the grass, holding each other and I woke up again.

  This time I had to get up though.  When I woke up the last time, there was still that slight feeling of being disoriented and eventually realizing that Christina didn’t exist.  Its the same every time, at first the dream world and the real world have meshed together perfectly.  But then it starts to break up, the realization comes that it was nothing but a dream.  I’m alone in my bed, back in a life that is many times frustrating and disappointing.  Not always and there are many wonderful aspects of my life.  There’s just something about those dreams.  There’s a sense of completeness.  Maybe its just the aspect of finding someone that matches me like a puzzle piece.  *laughs* Someone as strange as I am I guess.  I don’t even know if any of this made sense. 

  On to other news…except there is no other news.  My holiday wasn’t the greatest.  Part of it was being sick, there were a few family issues, and overall I just didn’t feel all that great.  Glad everyone else had a good time tho.  I’d best be going tho.  Good day to all.

-Damien