Do you fondue?

– Captain America

  Its been a long while but I’m here.  I just looked back at my last entry and I can’t believe its been that long since I’ve written.  I guess alot has happened since then.

  I got fired from my job.  They said it was because of excessive tardies and at the time I was too upset to argue, but thinking about it after I realized that it probably had nothing to do with that.  The company had just lost one of their biggest contracts not too long before that and then they started firing people for one reason or another, so I’m guessing it has more to do with losing the contract and less to do with what they say they fired us for.  They’re probably doing this so the corporate office doesn’t know how badly they’ve screwed things up there.  Thing is, since that’s what went on my record, it also denied me unemployment.

  I know there’s a thing for appealing the decision, but it talks about having evidence and witnesses.  I have neither.  My supposed "friends" at work I haven’t heard from since I got fired.  I consider myself lucky that I got the movies I lent to one of them back after I got fired.  So, considering that, I know that I couldn’t call on any of them for witnesses.  The whole situation sucks.

  So, since then I’ve been trying to find another job.  I really don’t want to go back to retail, but I’ve been getting desperate lately and filling out any job application.  Thing is, not even the retail places are calling me back.  I thought for sure I’d get a few offers since its the holidays, but I haven’t heard anything, well except rejection letters from a few places.  I’m out of savings and I’m really not sure what I’m going to do if I don’t get work soon.

  I’m very thankful for my family helping me out.  I’m living at my sister’s old place.  She moved in with her fiance and she asked if I’d like to move in here as a sort of caretaker since she’s not sure what to do with the house yet.  My family helps me with groceries from time to time.  I just don’t know what to do some days.

  It just seems like once I get past one thing, something else comes up.  I managed to make a small payment to the credit cards I owe, then I get a letter from my school loans, so now I have to make sure I can get deferred again.  And OD informed me that my subscription is going to end sometime this month.  I’ve never felt less like the person I wanted to be in my life.

  I thought about going into paramedic training, but at the very least its going to cost me $2,000 and I’m here trying to figure out how to scrounge up $35 for my next payment.  I hate going to family with my hands out.  I know they love me and would give me the money if I needed it, I just hate having to ask them for it.

  Meanwhile I’m trying to keep myself distracted.  I keep the house clean, I work on the yard.  Even the medicine cabinet and the workroom outside have been cleaned out and reorganized.  I watch movies and play video games.  I got to do a beta test for the new Star Wars MMO coming out.  That was pretty cool.  Its a Star Wars version of World of Warcraft, called the Old Republic.  I read and re-read books.  But even with all that, the thoughts of where my life is now keep creeping back.

  Anyone want to come visit and distract me for awhile?  I really do hope things get better soon.  Some days are better than others.  Thanks to anyone who’s read this far.  While I haven’t written on here in awhile, I still come on the site pretty often and I’m still reading my favorites entries.  Sorry if I haven’t noted like usual.  Good day to all.

-Damien