Today’s entry – trying from memroy – and we know

Ok best as I can remember – since my brain is gone and I barely remember my name half the time…

Basically I was not really mad at anyone in my entry before the one earlier today. I was just writing in my paper journal the day before and without having feedback from others it was tending to make me more and more frustrated. and most things in my life right now as well as some other things going on and I was angry — I mean ANGRY at everyone including my FIL, daughter, and hubby and mostly myself.

I even said the “f” word. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???

I got myself away from everyone after Kal got home and spent some time all by myself… before he came home he told me to take a hot bath and try to relax… all it did was make me angrier at him because all I got from it was a very RED bottom.

I told him to, at some point, to gently remind his dad that words can hurt. I know he is old and set in his ways but the sooner we can get that basement apartment finished the sooner I will be elated.

Today we went for a drive in the mountains. FIL came along and was good for the most part.

Speaking of driving. We are back down to one car and it is not the rental. We turned that in over a week ago and Kal is using his dad’s car. NOW the rental company is saying they talked to the other guys insurance and they are refusing to pay anything toward the rental and we have to pay it all…. over 1,300. they are telling me something totally different. SO we need to go back to the attorney to sign up for him to also get us the buck for our car and the rental back. We have not seen a penny from the wreck yet. they have the car, the keys and a copy of the title (NOT the original thank GOD) but now during the week FIL and the rest of us are home with no way to go anywhere. I have had to cancel numerous appointments that were scheduled by Dr. Willett for the accident on July 11th, Thank goodness I was able to get a dial a ride service to take me to PT two times a week starting this next week. I have to figure out how I am to get my EMG on my arm done on the 11th as Kal has the car and dial a ride does not go to Cumming.

On the 12th I have my first counseling appointment set up with Lumpkin County Mental Health. (I have to meet with a counselor for a couple of times before I meet the doctor). I am really beginning to feel like my Bi Polar has been mis-diagnosed. Why would my manic highs be just what everyone else has for regular happy?

Maybe I just have chemical depression and anxiety disorder? who knows.

Anyway freaky things have been happening around me and it is scaring me. Dreams coming true, some dream interpretations I have had, and just some other things. some coinkidinks that have happened and I am really scared.

Anyway, my next trp to books-a-million I am going to get me a parallel NIV, New Kings James version of the bible. Hopefully I will find some answers there.

Last evening I was washing my face and getting ready for bed and my brand new nose ring came out. I FREAKED. I couldn’t get it back in. No matter what I tried. I tried everything…. I finally got a needle and the can of air for my computer. I covered my eyes and held the can of air upside down and FROZE my nose and plunged the needlle through the hole on the outside…. and it did come through the inside. I then took the ugly beginner nose ring (the one you are supposed to keep in for 6 weeks, and put it back in. needless to say today my nose is a bit sore and I am still a bit grumpy but not as bad as the day before yesterday. That was a bad day.

Tomorrow we are taking FIL to Amacola State Park. Kal said he was thinking of taking me there for our anniversary. How sweet. We shall see how the money things goes.

Funny how family and some friends had the impression we had a lot of money from the sale of our house in FL and can afford to just pay for the rental car and such, I guess the looks of things on the top can be super deceiving.

We had to basically GIVE our house away with just about enough for the down payment on the this new one. we did have some extra money that we used to buy a decent fridge (the one they left was apartment size and not big enough for a family of three let alone 4 (my FIL). The only other two things we bought were an LCD HD TV from Wal-Mart that fit exactly on the mantle and a kitchen table that was on sale at Kroger as a clearance sale. I want to cry when I think of the car accident on June 11. We have had to buy prescriptions, pay doctor bills, and hospital bills then submit them to State Farm in Florida. Of which we JUST started to see a trickle of money come in. If I had not called them to see how much PIP we had left nothing would be done. We did not have full coverage on that car. Only what was needed in FL to be legal. Once PIP is gone bills go to the other guys insurance. That is going to be like getting blood out of a turnip. We have yet to have a check for the smooched car and they have it. Their guy was clearly at fault and they do not want to pay. Our Lawyer said he knows that insurance company. They only insure those who are not insurable by anyone else, JUST PEACHY.

So anyway that is where I am … my days are filled with house cleaning and phone calls. Autumn does not want to have anything to do with me because Pop-pop is here.

I am tired and worn out and hopefully, with the counseling and getting into God’s word that will change.

OH and I plan on loosing at least 70-80 pounds before next spring. 🙂 I will keep you informed how it goes. I am currently 244.

Well I love you guys and it is about time to cook supper,see you soon!

All items © 2005 CAMElias/Dakk O’ta unless otherwise noted.