Thinking too much

So many bad thoughts are flooding my mind…it’s like a millions messages are trying to catch up for lost time. Im thinking about being 40. I’m in major pain. It hurts in my soul then trickles out of my eyes. I need help. I’m too tired to cry. I pray God won’t give up on me.

Dear Father, I don’t want to fail. I want to be successful. I don’t want this old car anymore. I want a better place to live. I need you Father. I find it hard to believe in You…but that is only because of my dysfunctional family and my dreams not coming yet. I’m not even married. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. HELP