only a little left

I want be normal I need help I don’t understand please help my mind help help

I have been spending my evening with little smoke sessions with different guys. It’s fun. Then I kick them out. I just want a little company then I’m good. Tonight the only company I’ll want is the television…my mood varies.

I hate life per usual. I hate working. I hate how my new car has all these scratches and the check light engine is still on. I hate the weekend job sometimes because it’s not all the way comfortable cuz I never know when Mr.Harry is coming through to check up on me.

I made it to work an hour early. I’m gonna show up an hour early tomorrow too. It’s the only thing I can do to see if it improves my checks. Did you know I make LESS than $2k month? My rent is half that and my ultilities make it over half that…and then the other $1k is for: car note, recording studio, etc…oh what is life?!?

im working toooooo hard for this change. I need to make a change. I’m not happy here.

dear God, I’m thankful for my health to have a job to have a place to live but I don’t like living at the bare minimum. Please change my life for the better.