Life still effin sucks

I got bit in the right breast by Anabel on Wednesday. I spent most of last night at urgent care. I had to get a tetanus shot as well as be put on antibiotics. They actually wanted to give me a blood test too but since I know my bloodstream would be high on marijuana – I denied the blood test. I got pain meds too…and the lady doctor who prescribed them, seemed like she gave me something that I would end up getting hooked on…something called nexipro. I don’t know.

any ways, my meeting with Jay wasn’t shit! This motherfucker told me to put one foot in front of the other and to have faith and serendipity….he offered no help. What a bitch ass asshole. Told me that his brother was famous then ended up becoming a music teacher. I ended our 30 min meeting 8 min early after listening to his bull, and I said: ok I  will just enjoy my life the way it is…

I hate him.

I also had some guy want to pay me $10 for a place to sleep. I told him no. I didn’t want to deal with anyone sleeping on my couch in exchange for ten bucks. It would be that amount every time to sleep on my couch…no thanks…but that could add up. I doubt I’ll see or hear from him again. Which is fine I guess….i don’t need money that badly. (Yes I do)

I bought kfc earlier…a two piece with mashed potatoes and coleslaw and a buscuit. I ate it all. Then the guilt rushed over me. I guess I still wasn’t done because ate cookies and yogurt too. I hate how fat I am these days. It’s just because I’m so depressed about life.

im still smoking weed about but it’s because I’m about to quit soon. I know how I am and after seeing how fat I looked on screen, I want a body makeover.

Speaking of make over, I need to follow up with JurnyV about performing with me in ATL in October. I pray that everything will pan out.

speaking of prayer, God cares but not really. I don’t feel His love. I don’t pray. I don’t know how to feel. What is life.

dear God. Where are you! Amen