House of Blues

Dear Father,

Tomorrow I was supposed to go out but I was asked to work. I JUMPED at the opportunity to make money rather than spend money. I kinda think it was you that made it happen for me because I had anxiety about going. I really don’t like going out…plus it may be too soon to test the waters during my sobriety.

its already my bedtime. My mind wouldn’t be still enough for a movie. I ate so much food today. I think I should take it easy on my digestive system. I’m bringing a tv dinner for lunch and for breakfast I’m going to have Starbucks. I’m going to wake up at 7am so I can be out the door early enough to get my coffee and not speed on the way to work.

Dunno what I’m going to wear…probably going to be extra short tomorrow since I’m wearing my flat footed vans.

I feel so short. I hate it. Would it be weird if I asked you to make me taller? I need at least a foot added to my legs but I’d be happier with three inches.i feel like no prayer is impossible, right?

I feel bad though…like I don’t want to feel proud about being a shorty. I was Thumbelina in elementary school for Halloween. I always felt as short as her. And then I related a bit to Tinkerbell…but I never had her shape…I always wanted to be like Skipper…look at 40 year old me in pretend land.

i just remember that I have to ask Isaiah if he can do a documentary of me prepping for my music videos..

but yeah, I cancelled with everyone. They all understood. Maybe I can learn a song and sing it next month, in time for November 21st. I can sing maybe 5 songs…love me, almost is never enough, best part, if you let me, and all in my head…I also need to learn spirit lead me, yesterday, we must praise, I can only imagine…and maybe sing my new song that I wrote….i should honestly challenge myself to learn all ten….i can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. I definitely feel so much better now that I don’t have to go out tomorrow.

I wish I could win the lotto. I’m getting tired. Goodnight