Gucci

Dear Jesus,

I’m still here at the old lady’s house. So funny…just now, I was looking for the remote and she told me that she didn’t know where it was. After looking around for a bit, I pulled up the covers where she was laying – and the remote was in her hand….would be funny if she was playing a game with me, but I think her memory made her forget that she was holding it.

I have been having such a great weekend..yes I’ve been working but I did some online shopping, wash and dried my hair, and did a really good job with my eating. No cravings for weed. I didn’t even want to smoke – not even once. I told some folks that I quit so they won’t invite me to smoke with them. I think I have two friends that I can hang with and not want to smoke with them. Or maybe really just one…

Jesus, I need your help. I totally trust Your pathway for my life now. I say that now because I didn’t before last Friday. I felt weak and had doubt.

On Saturday, I spoke to three former co workers…and I spoke to my pastor who prayed for me…and I spoke to my dad (again)…then lastly, i listened to Joel Osteen…and unfortunately, the tarot reader, Minnow Pond.

I know in the Bible it says to not involve yourself in black magic …but I believe this guy is different. His reading was about problems at my job, and he said if I focus on my career, then I will have success.

I forgot to mention that I spoke to my employer who is also the son of the old lady that I work for her. He said to not “straddle the fence”. He said if I REALLY WANT THIS…then I must GIVE IT ALL.

so I’m thinking, no weed, workout or move around everyday, eat two meals a day w/2 snacks, buy fresh fruit once a week, and take dancing/acting classes. Along with this, try to find as many gigs as possible…even try out for the voice…I never wanted to do the show…but I now realize to try everything and let You decide which doors I will walk through.

all I can do is try everything I can do and work on my career like it’s a JOB. Jesus, please help support me on this journey. I just want to be happy and have joy in my life. I don’t want to get married. I like being alone…but is that trauma? Not sure…but if it is, then let me experience the type of marriage I can be happy in…and with someone who will never pressure me for “his needs”.

The weed thing is going to be hard…but please help me with my addiction. Sometimes, I just want to smoke and it comes out of no where…and I’m so stubborn that I’m unable to find another outlet, however…please help me when those moments happen.

With my job, I can only request that I get unemployment or I can return to work with less days…like 3 days a week. I want to not have a hard time with money…. Please please help me.

I pray for long life and good health for my entire family and I. I want to make it so bad & provide for my parents. I’m going to work extra hard to reach my goals before the age of 42. Like maybe be on the show, The Voice, before my next birthday.

I pray you can let me know if this is what you want. Do you want me to quit my job for a year? Do you want me to stop smoking weed for good?

please guide me and let me know what to do in Jesus name. Amen

P.s. I forgot the most important thing to change about my life…. Pray every single day… watch church every Sunday, and begin tithing.

P.s.s I bought a designer hat. Normally $700 but I got it for $100- and it’s supposed to be real…and new. Let’s see!!