From Notes on a Plane

I’m writing from the notes on my phone. I’m so happy right now. I have my Starbucks latte with two grande waters and my plane food that I got from the grocery store earlier. I’m watching the Celine Dion movie…it’s only a few seconds in and I can tell I’m going to be fully invested. I’m sitting next to this cute couple holding hands that are wearing identical bracelets. I asked what the symbolism meant behind their bracelets and they said it meant: God is greater than all the ups and downs in life. I almost want to cry…is that God talking to me? I’m saw a lady from Houston on the same plane as me. She is a manager of some sort out here and she has access to a dinner that is $200. That fee pays for dinner with a few celebrity managers…including Cardi B’s manager. I’m going to ask Shervin if he can take me either there or we wake up early to go surfing in the early morning around 6:30am. The dinner is supposed to be tonight…I hope I have something to wear because it’s supposed to be formal. I feel super blessed. Everyone has been so nice to me today. The person who checked me onto the plane, the security guard, except one lady who told me to tuck in the strings of my pants…I don’t know why she told me to do that…she seemed miserable. Anyways, now I’m about to watch this movie.

Dear God, my mama always told me to never question you, however, if I don’t question-how will I learn? I just wanted to know something…since you know our story…why did Celine get sick like that? Is it from stress, working too hard, losing her husband, constant worry….all of the above? My father tells me that when I make it, he’s going to make sure I never do anything I don’t want to do. However, when you sign to a label…you sign your life away in exchange for popularity. I always wanted to be popular…especially in high school. But, I don’t care for fame to that extreme. I dream of taking care of people. I want to cast Paul in a lead role in my movie, I want Carl to work with me on film sets, I want Kalani to forever be my producer, I want to help my wild ass fan in London, I want to the masseuse and Miss Rosa to live with me, I want to provide security and a luxury facility for my family, I want Sister Renee’s son to be my pilot, I want to take care of my neighbor across the hall so he never has to work again, I want my church family to be cared for. I pray for it all in Jesus name. Amen

“God is greater than all your ups and downs”