Cortisol Creepers

I had a SUPER LONG DAY: woke up early, worked with Anabel, worked out, did laundry, visit parents an hour away, drove back home…and now I’m in bed past midnight. It’s really late.

someone else is trying to steal from me. This time it’s for $250. This Instagram guy called riskybusiness101 says he’s well connected but he just cancelled a festival after taking my money for the performance slot.

when people steal from me…it makes me think about the long list of other people that’s stole from me a and all the other things that were stolen from me. Somebody stole my car with all my clothes in it once. Anarchy studios stole all of my music collection & I had to start over. An engineer stole $3k when we were supposed to do an album together(Sean was his name). Julian Vargas still had my money and never delivered my music video valued at $2k. And now this guy for $250. Whats the lesson I learned in all of this? Do a contract and get two copies as well as a receipt.
maybe that 10k sent to me was Gods way of giving back all that was lost to me…

the money got was definitely cartel money. Cuz the guy who it belonged to was banging on my door and trying to even open my door. I haven’t seen him since but he told me that a lot of people are connected to that money…I was carrying my gun in my waistband and glanced at it…I never saw him again.

im telling yall – I live in the hood. As a matter of fact, in one of my entries I spoke about doing a possible collab with a rapper…but they passed on me cuz I wasn’t ghetto I guess…turns out that man got shot in the thigh yesterday and the other person this rapper was with, had died.

i truly believe Hid is protecting me from haters. I get such a strong reaction from people. Most women are weird around me…if they are pretty, they act stuck up around me. If they are good, they talk to me while studying my face the entire time, tryna figure me out. Not all women are like this, but I never had any luck with women since college. I had a best friend in high school and also in college…but ironically both of them stopped talking to me after they went down a dark path of stripping or doing porn or escorting. I tried being friend with women in church but I’m too sinful for them…maybe they can tell I smoke a lot of weed?…who knows

its been I think day four…all I know is that I’m going to make it to day 24. I see Shervy soon and I’m determined to look like my best self. I’m trying to lose weight and take care of my hair skin and nails. I’m doing another water fast starting now. But I really don’t know if I can last because I have to work for Anabel tonight.

I’m gonna be honest-I’m so fucking over everything. But since I prayed with my parents earlier, I’m going to believe that God will work on my behalf. I need a real resolution to everything that is going on. I need REAL HELP…If God is Real, then He Really will come through for me.

I pray that everything will work itself out in Jesus name.

Dear God, this man won’t give me my refund. I’m dealing with so many people that have stolen from me. My dad has told me over and over to do contracts first. I should have listened. I don’t like losing money. Please help me in this situation in Jesus names amen.