We assert if we’d have listened to the music…

…like we were told to by the Doobie’s and countless others, that we would not be in this situation as a country.  I would be a better man if I had learned to listen better sooner, much like I would be a better man, we think, if we had had dogs earlier.  But then again we do not know.

See, in order to truly connect with the dogs we needed to take a nurturing role, which is not easy for men of my tribe to do, so I left my tribe and fell into the frying pan.  But it broke us a little more and so we grew some more but then we needed to be broken again so we jumped into the fire.  Missions, that is.  Never mind.

Some things went well, the growth was beautiful and we appreciated it.  Some growth looked sickly, almost embarrassing, and we some of us despised it for its weakness, which was our weakness but we did not yet see.  Anywho, we were still working out our daddy issues when we had kids and it was all we could do to not negatively impact the kids as much as we could, we were aware of our flaws.  We knew the secret to breaking the cycles was small changes over time, find a pattern and perfect a short cycle to be ready to nail the next big cycle, is the mathematical principle we think we applied to the understanding of time.  The Fib sequence as a decision-making construct is possible, and it helped me in combat, but I didn’t know I was using it.

Anyway, like I said, I was full MALE ego force no compassion learned yet, I had to be broken more to be ready to be broken more to be ready to be broken more til finally this turd of a human being was ready to be polished by a pack of feral mutts.  And damned if we didn’t go off the track like a broken fucking bobsled, eh?

Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean, is that if we had been more enthralled with sweet eyes and peaceful easy feelings in the 70s, we would not have needed death metal to purge our soul in the 90s.

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July 27, 2022

there are opportunities to break wherever we are in life. a crack, or wide open. and then try to heal or build new. I think this is a noble way to live these lives. I think being aware of what we choose and why is the key. If we choose love then perhaps the reward is to be cracked or broken so we have capacity to be filled with more.

there is a pang of desperation in the sun setting. it’s beautiful but hard to watch, and then to let go. if only I had gotten up early to meet and praise the sunrise, or took time this afternoon to worship at its zenith, what would have changed? now twilight comes. but there are two sides of that coin. we get to choose again. i love this cycle. i love mourning the day that isn’t quite over, knowing nothing more can be done but feel the peace of its wake with the knowledge that another wave is coming.

I don’t need to know who you were to love who you are now. You are far more than the sum of your years and your experiences, your lessons and memories. Who wants to eat each the flour, baking powder, salt, chocolate, egg, butter over the chocolate chip cookie? let me bring the milk.