Singletons and Smug Marrieds…
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Still with me? Okie dokie. My friend Lisa (soooo not her real name) is a fairly new bride/mommy. I’ve known her since high school and she’s always been ready to get married and breed. I have NO problem with that. However…she has now turned into what Bridget Jones would call a Smug Married.
The conversation started very innocently today. We were discussing the fact that several of our classmates are graduating from law school and jokingly (or so I thought) wondered what happen to our lives after high school. You know what she says? “I don’t know, but at least I’m married.” She asked me when I planned to get married and have kids. I explained to her that it will happen in due time…and definitely not something I could plan on paper.
Well, she took it upon herself to PREACH to me. Apparently, because I wasn’t ready to get married TODAY she felt I was putting matrimony down? She goes on to say that although she didn’t have a “conventional” situation, she loves her husband and baby dearly…like I was slamming HER marriage. I told her to save the sermon because it was totally wasted on me.
What the hell is THAT about? She gets married and has a child…and now it’s her job to make sure everyone else gets hitched? PLEASE. She talked to me like I was a spinster with no hope left. Let me point out that Lisa is the FIRST pal in our old high school group to get married/breed. However, she acts like at age 24, my eggs are about to dry up…among other things.
I accused her of being a Smug Married and she denied it…even said that she’s jealous of us at times because she can’t just drop everything and hit the club anymore. LOL Apparently if you’re single and childless, your life only consists of being a club hopping whore….a superficial and pitiful attempt to mask the pain of not being married. LOL
Why does she feel the need to act superior because our situations are different? Is it her way of lashing out because maybe a shotgun wedding and unplanned blessed event aren’t exactly the way she pictured things? Or is she just a bitch that honestly feels sorry people not living in marital bliss? The world may never know.
Chesty and I are supposed to go see her and the baby this weekend. At this point, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea…? If she puts me down again, I may be forced to knock her in the head with the Diaper Genie…and junior doesn’t need to see violence at such an early age.
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LOL…maybe Junior needs to be taking a nap when you go visit. I’m not pressured to get married…maybe because I am, but I am constantly being asked by my MIL when I’m going to have kids…I’m not getting any younger, you know. GRRRRRRR My eggs need to dry up quickly so I have an excuse. 🙂
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How Funny!! I think it must be the last excuse, that things haven’t quite turned out the way she planned … so maybe she’s trying to drag everyone down with her…you know, misery LOVES company! Being married with kids is oh-so-glamorous, you know, so everyone should run out and do it NOW!!
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I am so amazed at how many of my friends from high school are already married and having kids…I mean it’s not like we are going to waste away if we don’t hurry up…I’m 24 also and have a friend who’s only 22 and getting married in Oct and keeps asking me when I think I will, I told her I have other plans to take care of first…
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Mmmm… well, you could just take it outside where the new youngin won’t see. 😉 I don’t know, sometimes anyone will brag at others about how their different situation is better. I’m sure there are plenty of Smug Singles too who point and snicker at the disadvantages of marriage and responsibility. Some folk just have to feel superior, though I don’t know if she is one of them.
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My guess would be that perhaps she’s not as happy as she expected she might be…even married.
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You can attack with the Diaper Genie unless I’m there, and since I don’t know that woman from Adam…. BTW, when do I get your copy of Bridget #2 back to finish? 😀
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“Is it her way of lashing out because maybe a shotgun wedding and unplanned blessed event aren’t exactly the way she pictured things?” I think this would be accurate. If there is one thing I have learned over many (frustrated) years, it is that when people start preaching, it never has anything to do with you and has everything to do with them. Read between the lines, sort to speak.
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and try not to take it personally. Maybe I’m just a total idealist, but I would like to think that if someone is blissfully married and has a happy home life, they would want everyone they care about to find that kind of contentment and wish it for them. They wouldn’t turn it into a whole morality issue–“my life is more together than yours is” crap. Granted I don’t know the women,
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(ooops I meant “woman”), but my guess is, she is in pain or angry or fearful and she wants other to feel the same way. It helps to momentarily relieve her of her own suffering. That’s what it sounds like to me. Try to let it go and not bother you. Look at your life and your choices. It’s obvious you are forging your flight plan and not following what is expected of you. 🙂
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She’s most likely jealous because she’s tied down and you’re free. I have a friend who’s engaged and preggos and always trying to tell me I need to “hurry up.” For what? I like being single and I’m not up for all that “til death due us part” right now. I like to part when I get sick of you! RYN: I plan on being single for Mardi Gras. CD will be there when I get back from the dirty South. ;
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RYN-carb gel: LMAO. Bring it with you on the hike. I’ll even go buy some and we can toast each other with it. I swear if that stuff is the wrong texture, everybody better be behind me.
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RYN: September sounds perfect to me. We should both be at goal and ready for a little diva vacation. I go to the website and drool. I can’t wait. I also can’t wait for Mardi Gras. February is SO far away.
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Some marrieds are like that. They like to brag that theyre having fun when in fact we married dont get much LOL
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Somehow I have managed to alienate the smug marrieds in my life. And I find that I do not miss the I’m So Busy Taking My Kids To Swim Practice-Your Life Is So Pathetic And Incomplete Because You Don’t Have A Family conversation one !@#$&! bit! Congrats on the weight loss. I’m a WWWannabee, lost 65 pounds last year, this year, I’m…uh…off the wagon.
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