Busy Bee

I was supposed to go for breakfast with my friend from Guatemala this morning. But he spent all night watching Russian Doll on Netflix so he wanted to sleep in and we did lunch instead. It was a nice lunch. We talked politics and money in regards to the work we do, like what institutions get what shady funds from. Etc. He was interesting, it was a nice catch up. The last time I saw him was in Berlin so it’s been a long time. He told me about doing a residency in this sketchy falling down house in Brussels or something and how he had to run off and find another place because he got depressed. He has a boyfriend and lives in a very gay building.

After I came back home and tried to work on my writing. And I did get SOMETHING written. But it is no where near being done or poetic. It’s hard because it takes another story and tries to retell it without stealing but dammit. UGH! Anyway I wrote and then got frustrated and took a nap.

After I headed back out to a workshop. On my way I found a parcel at my door from Amazon so I put it inside. But it’s a prop I need for this video and a book I wanted to read about queer parenting, so I am excited about that.

The workshop was to make a video game. I wasn’t able to keep up. I kept having to ask the assistant where things were in the program. I made SOMETHING but it wasn’t advanced. I mean the thing is we are supposed to carry on with our knowledge. So that’s fine. It was nice at least to get used to working in Unity again. I did feel that it was good to go learn all that.

I came home.

On the way to the workshop I got a message that this film I was gonna show in Auckland fell through, but they wanted to show it again for reals this time in June. So I asked if I could get an invite letter so I can get a travel grant and they are gonna try and do that for me. So I asked my Mom if she wanted to come with me to Auckland. I’ve wanted to go to New Zealand for a long time, so this would be so amazing and lovely.

Anyway yeah that was exciting.

Kate still hasn’t messaged. And I mean she still might at some point. I’m trying not to think about it. At a certain point I’ll just have to give it up. And I posted the queer parenting book on my facebook, so she can see it, and if that’s what is gonna scare her off then at least it is happening now before I am all invested in her and wanting to do anything and everything to maintain a relationship. Because yes it’s true, we might not have compatible visions of the future. And she is only 32. She might not want to think about babies yet, or ever, while I am 40 and time is ticking. It kind of sucks. I did like her. I mean we didn’t have a lot of contact with each other yet. Who knows.

I’m really sleepy and I can feel my body sort of filling with sand so I should probably go to bed.