confused

 

 

 

 

 

Aaron sent me a message on MySpace yesterday, all about how he still wanted me to be able to homeschool the kids, and the only way he sees that I can do that is if he moves back to our house.  And that if I’m willing to listen, he has a few ideas, and we can talk on Saturday night when he’s at the house with Jacob.

I have no idea what the hell to think of this.  Really I don’t.  I’m at a complete and total loss. 

First of all, the homeschool thing is an excuse.  I can find a way to homeschool as a single mom; it would be insanely hard, but I can do it.  So that’s not really a reason. 

I wish I could just open his head and dig out the truth instead of waiting for him to get around to telling me anything. 

 

It doesn’t make sense that he would want to come back because he misses me or wants to work things out, because I’ve found text messages less than a month old on his old cell phone that suggest the exact opposite. ("Since I can’t have sex with you, just pretend that I did." – Does that sound like someone who wants to come back to his wife?  Plus I’ve heard he’s been hitting on one of the girls he works with….) So, I’m just confused all around. 

We’re going to talk, because I told him I would listen, and give him the opportunity to speak his mind.  But I also told him that I’m not guaranteeing him anything, because I’m quite happy with my life as a single mom, and it would take A LOT from him in order for me to consider changing my attitude toward him at this point. 

I wish he would have just e-mailed all the stuff he wanted to talk about.  I’m not very capable when it comes to face-to-face emotional discussions like that.  I prefer being able to step back and plan my responses. 

But, who knows right? 

We (me, the kids, my mom, grandmother and aunt) are heading up to the Longaberger Homestead for the day tomorrow, and I’ll be cleaning house on Saturday, so I’m hoping I can keep my mind off of it.