1/20/09

I’ll be perfectly honest: it’s hard having two kids.  What’s really hard is having the first kid not really understand that Mommy can’t play all the time, that Mommy sometimes has to do things for the baby, and that the baby is not a toy and can be hurt very easily. 

I’m struggling with how to communicate these things to Chloe.  I’m also struggling with the loss of my routine and organized schedule.  Most of all, I’m struggling to keep my temper on an even keel and remember that Chloe is only doing naughty, annoying things because she wants my attention, not because she’s purposefully trying to be a brat.  And I’m not proud of the fact that I do get frustrated and lose my temper, mostly when she does something that has the potential to hurt Ben.  She threw a DVD case at his head today.  I could tell she felt bad and was sorry when he started to cry, but it was still difficult for me not to be short with her after that. 

I’m still learning how to cope with having TWO little people dependant on me for their every want and need, and generally they always need me at the exact same time. 

Not trying to be a downer about it, though.  Just recognizing the situation, in the hopes that addressing things verbally (sort of) will keep things in the front of my mind, and hopefully help me keep my patience close at hand. 

And I’d just like to say, with not working and barely seeing any of my friends socially in the past six months, OD has really become my go-to place for a little R&R.  Getting online everyday, when I have a spare minute and catching up with my faves has really been a sanity saver on those days when I think I’m going nuts because I can’t keep anyone happy and can’t get anything done.  This place is like an informal support group, and I’d just like to say thanks to all my faves and to all the folks who read me and listen to my rambling. 

It means a lot just to know that someone is listening.