this IS my indoor voice

OKCupid Message
From: X
To: me
Subject: So Buffy stakes Edward?

Hi, this is probably an odd way to start a conversation, but in your profile you mention a theory on the popularity of Twilight? I have not, and probably never will, read the series but I cannot avoid noticing that it has become ridiculously popular. I see it often on the favorites list of many women on this site. I honestly don’t understand the twilight obsession, a weak female lead and sparkling vampires? I am curious of your thoughts.

I also take it from your profile that you are a fan of Whedon’s work which tends to feature strong female protagonists?

Lol, You don’t like Christopher Hitchens? Seems an odd comment to make after defining yourself atheist. I mean that light hearted/jovial not as a criticism. Is it for his works, behavior, political stance, or all of the above that you dislike him?

I have to say that you have a very honest and direct profile, and it is quite impressive.

Sincerely,
X

From: me
To: X
Re: So Buffy stakes Edward?

Buffy totally stakes Edward. See.

My theory about why it’s so popular is basically that women are conditioned by our culture to view men as dangerous and themselves as vulnerable– physically and sexually. Teen girls are taught that boys are at the mercy of their instincts and it’s the girl’s job not to tempt them, or put herself in a dangerous position where their instincts and superior strength might take over. Boys are terrifyingly OTHER, because they desire you in this way that you’re presumed not to be able to relate to (because girls have no sex drive, natch), and they can physically overpower you, and for a lot of girls, especially (but not exclusively) if you’re raised religious, this colors your idea of men in general. So you’ve got this metaphor, in the Twilight books, where the boy is not only superstrong but also desires the girl in an incredibly intense way that’s really dangerous for her (he vants to suck her bloooood)– BUT he loves her so much and he’s so moral that he’ll restrain himself from acting on it. Even when she’s begging him to turn her, he won’t because he thinks it’s wrong (Stephanie Meyer, your Mormon is showing!) and because he cares about her so much, and he also protects her from the other boys, I mean vampires, who do want to take advantage of her and violate her. So that makes him the ideal fantasy man for girls (and women) who think of boys (and men) that way. Bella (who’s an obvious reader stand-in, having zero personality of her own) is the infinitely desirable object, relieved of all agency and responsibility, and Edward is the fantasy image of a lover who is male (and therefore dangerous and full of frightening desires) but also tender and protective, mastering his desire in order to keep Bella safe and guard her from outside threats as well. It’s an adolescent fantasy, and imho a very sick one, but then it’s a sick culture, too, and I can completely understand its appeal for females whose view of gender relations works that way.

So yeah! Also why the idea of Buffy killing Edward is deeply satisfying, because Buffy also runs with the metaphor of vampire-as-rapist (which of course has a long and glorious cultural tradition) but, rather than go “oh no, I am little and feminine and delicious, save me Angel!” has her stab the fuckers in the heart with her pointy stick of justice.

Also, Christopher Hitchens is a sexist little twerp.

Also, thanks for the compliment on my profile! 🙂