different

 its funny 

the past 6 months ive had writers block

i just dont know what to put down

most of my last entries sucked

how come songs used to come so easy

i wouldnt even have to think about it words would come free

how come life felt so free

now im stuck

the headache kickin in when i try to describe what im thinkin

my heads a secret from me

somethings changed 

but this somethin doesnt have a name

im stronger, stronger

feelins are smaller

and im at a place in my life

that takes patience

because im done my part

now im waitin for tomorrow

so i can work again

wheres the thrill?

i repressed myself from feelings

but im left feelin ill

writing used to be an every day thing

now…

writing doesnt seem to make sense

but im startin again

writing to make sense

wheres a pen?

does it help?

i dont remember

all i know is i dont know

im happy but not happy

im sad and im not sad

im not strong and im not weak

what am i?

that depends

i guess ill feel when im ready to feel again

and this

this is a start

to try and feel somethin

but what it is isnt familiar

because things are good today

i have fucked up days

but basically…lifes okay

its finally goin my way

…so i tell myself

i lost hope in people

because i know when i look in the future whats gona happen

its bad that im always right always right

when i say shits gona be bad and its gona go wrong

so i choose ignorance

i guess i cant pick and choose what feelings to exclude 

cause i lost em all

they are still here but buffered

and well..like i said…somethings changed

i pick up an old piece

and i realize how much things changed