Aint The Same

 Life’s a bitch sometimes. Makes me mad and i wana a smoke sometimes it makes me  feel like im going slowly insaine. Whats wrong with the world! These thoughts are twisitin in my brain. Something makes me wana jump up and scream I JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK. In my life i had bad luck but i always did my best as soon as i thought my luck had changed……BAM nothin makes sense again. I took control of the hammer but something pushed me off of the ladder and i tried to fall softly but my heart just got spladderd. I was told you dont need it. Told I dont need love to feed it but  its starvin and i aint breathin and i got turned  into a fean. But once he’s gone I cant get him back so i gota be cool with that so im sittin at home alone wishin i wasnt at home. Theres no more sorries nothin holdin him back and i know he doesnt wana come back. We still hang out we still sit there and hold eachother but i know he aint mine no more when he walks out the door. Something in side of me feels like we are meant to be but somethings not workin out  so the  chances of me and  him workin out i doubt. I can call him an asshole but his intentions  i dont know.  The more i know the more it makes me wonder more. 

Why didnt I see that things would never change. Thought we could work it out. But it’s not and its driving me insaine. Dont you see that this is haunting me, what you think we can be makes me happy but at the same time its just not the same

So if your readin this and you ever felt like this. Yesterday was pleasure with no pain, todays pains makin you insane. Here your sittin there lost, confused, stuck, dont know what to do. You try to do everything but it aint the same. You try bring out love but his hearts changed. If you could read intentions love would be easy. So your sittin, give em your all with no guarentee. 

Time keeps passin and my mind keeps changin, friends or not….no clint no more? The thought of that makes my heat start achin but he shouldt be lettin me go through what he’s puttin me through. Friends with benefits for the one i love shiiet thats not fuckin cool. I dont tell him because im always happy when he’s around. The problem is when he leaves i slip and fall suddenly everything in my head turns upside down

If today’s a new day than why does it feel the same and why isnt it okay yet why am i in rage. How can i get over you when i just wana be with you nothin old or nothin new its just somethin cool. Lately i havnt been eatin right when your not by my side sorry i tried but just be by my side. I got so many questions it feels like i dono you lately i dont have a clue so just tell me the truth. You and me can make dreams and we make a good team so tell me what’s the problem why’d you have to just leave. Nothins the same, everythings a mess,  how did life get so complicated, how did i end up depressed. My name aint changed yet I dont feel like me, see life aint fair when it aint how it seems. You were my baby and i was your lady and you make me go crazy the only one i could see. So go ahead walk away and come back another day even when your back it doesnt mean that your back. So comon lets play fair to get rid of this nightmare i try to do what you want yet you said i fucked up. If thats the game and it’s me and you playin than let’s sit back and see what we’re in for and we’ll keep bein how we be. I got one more question i’ve been holdin it back…but i’ll keep it to myself until im back in focus with my crazy lil life.