1st anxiety attack this past week
I find myself waiting for these anxiety attacks to come on when I know I shouldn’t. I am finding that when I think I have finally gotten a handle of things and am doing well long enough to forget I have been having them, that is when they creep up on me and hit me unexpectedly.
Tonight I aggressively had to tell myself:
things are going to be ok.
my anxiety does not control me, I control my anxiety.
I have been through this before, I will get through this again.
I am strong and capable to beat this.
my mental health does not control my life, I have full control over my life.
I release all negativity that does not serve me.
I will beat this.
I can breathe.
Iam strong.
Iam a good mother.
Iam a good wife.
Iam happy, Iam loved, Iam needed.
Iam grounded and I trust that I will heal.
my children love me.
I am beautiful, Iam just tired.
then I sat outside listening to the Calm app doing the meditation and breathing exercises until the feeling passed.
I just lost where I was going with this entry, thanks to my gorgeous 3.5 yr old and her tantrum at her big sister for her McFlurry she was eating when she came home from her 2nd shift at McDonalds tonight… lol the joys of being a mum to a toddler again.
I think self-soothing through an anxiety attack is so beneficial. I will hug myself and rock back and forth, telling myself that I’m safe and fine. I start listing all the things I have: roof over my head, food in the fridge, a cat who adores me, etc. Whatever works man, anxiety is like a mental STD sometimes.
@jubaliee I never thought of it as a mental STD, but I can definitely see how it could be. Especially as some of us do have the unfortunate ability of taking on other peoples pain and trauma and making it part of our own without intention.
Its just so draining, and with kids who have been diagnosed as having depression and anxiety from their own trauma of growing up in a very violent home watching me be abused, I take on their energy too when I try my best to support them through what they’re now going through since hitting their pre teens and teens.
I seem to draw in others who have the same backgrounds as I do also so that doesn’t help, too many energies mixing with my own in an unhealthy way.
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