Wanna Hit Him, Cant Hit Him….

I would love just to lay him out.

I guess you could say I am replacing my feelings of getting hurt with real ones or something. God, now I am starting to sound like a damn therapist. Like earlier today, he made me a sandwich. Nice gesture. I just wanted to throw my bottle of water at him and smear the peanut butter  covered bread all over his face.

He made dinner. Big F-ing deal. I don’t reward my kids for how they are suppose to act. Why the hell is it a big deal if he cooks 2 nights in a row. I don’t consider that kissing my ass. In fact, I don’t want him to kiss my ass. I am already hurt, the damage has been done, I have decided how to take care of it. I think.

I will just put up a wall. I will make friends at school and I will be their friend that they feel sorry for because I am stuck in a marriage that my husband obviously doesn’t realize he is in.

Don’t get me wrong, my husband is a nice guy.    He is a wonderful father, good brother, and great friend. He just sucks ass as a husband. Do I get wife of the year award? No, especially not this year with my hormones and outburst, but at least I didn’t BLOW OFF MY DAMN HUSBAND ON OUR WEEKLY DATE FOR A GAME!! Online game at that.

I think I will make him come to our baby shower.  I always felt bad for men who got forced to go to baby showers by their wives.  Men dont belong there.  They go to those things because they think it will better their chances at the wife putting out later.  Ya know, a REWARD.  

I love him.  If I didnt, I would be so pissed off at this.  You know, I am not even mad… I dont think.  I am hurt more than anything.  The more he tries to redeem himself the more I get pissed. I have been trying to tell him this problem for over a month now, and it just gets turned around on me some how.  But I am past my breaking point.  I am not even going to discuss the matter with him.  He knows what he did wrong and he doesnt care.  so why bother talking to him about it again.