Ugly day…

I feel kind of guilty about voicing this, especially since I know too many good people who are struggling with the opposite problem, and I’m sure to their eyes I really have nothing to complain about…

I’m an anorexics dream…
I got a good look at myself in the mirror today, it wasn’t a pretty sight…
I tried to keep an eye on what I eat, increase my calorie intake, do whatever…I don’t have the attention span to keep track. *shrugs* I don’t know what else to do.
I stepped on the scale this morning and it was bad enough…I stepped on it after getting back from shopping with Mum today, and it was even worse.
I eat, I do…Though I can surely understand why anyone who took a good look at me wouldn’t believe it.
*sigh* I don’t know what to do…

On a bit more cheery note…I have the ornaments for the Critter’s classes all cut out and baked…Still need to paint them (still don’t have the list for Sonja’s class yet!).

I’m emotions are stretched on edge tonight…
Critters are gone for the week-end…Sonja was nearly in tears again…Gods I hate this.
Mum is gone for the night…
I’m alone…

Doesn’t help that it’s been so long since I’ve had anyone…I feel a bit like a vampire who hasn’t eaten for ages…New record…New records suck sometimes.

I need to do some sewing…Crap, just remembered I need elastic for Harley’s pants & the skirt for me & Sonja to fight over.
Need to figure out what they are going to wear Monday to the Christmas program.

*sigh* I need to do something…Sitting in front of the computer night after night is ridiculous. But…*shrugs*…I have nothing else to do.

 & As an after thought…I really do need to change my name…
Anyone got any ideas? I remember a few names ago Nicola/Nina renamed me. *laughs*  
Gods *sighs*  I miss so many things from just a few years ago…