*smooshes words in here, Pretending it’s a title*

I feel…utterly…eh…I don’t even know. I’m feeling empty and hopeless, though I know I shouldn’t. I’m letting things get to me, that really should have no sway over how I feel. Though perhaps it’s because I’m afraid I’m losing someone close to me…Even if that’s not the case. I’m feeling like because of my emotions, and not keeping them in proper check, I’m ruining what I do have, wishing for things I can’t have. But I’m not really wishing that much, or that hard…Not like I was. I mean, I know that it’s nothing…It’ll always be nothing. I know I try to read things into things that aren’t there. I know at the time I’m doing it…*sigh* And I know I’m making this out to be more than it is…It’s just…A busy time…Busy days…The world calls out…Something has to be left behind. I just have to accept that what’s going to be left behind at the moment is me.

Worked on Sonja’s costume some, still needs more work (it’s 2:40 pm currently)…But that will have to wait until I have her here…I’ll have to be going to pick her and Harley up from school soon…I still need to get dressed. So, I’ve got about 5 more minutes of typing/writing for the moment. Then off to get the Critters.

I bumped my laptop today (while trying to get to the phone…In hopes of a good phone call…It was a rubbish worthless call instead. *sigh*), and now I’ve got about an inch and a half line in a greenish color that follows one of the cracks on my moniter. Hopefully it’ll fade back to nothingness…Not going to hold my breath though…Hopefully it won’t get any worse though, and futher impeed my vision of the screen…Right now it’s at the bottom, so it’s not going to get too much, hopefully.

Blah…I’ve got to go get dressed…Pretend to be a functioning memeber of society.

~+*+~+*+~+*+~+*+~+*+~+*+~+*+~+*+~+*+~+*+~+*+~+*+~

Grim and I must have texted each other at the same time this afternoon…I just got done sending him a message when my phone beeped with one from him. I feel better now for having texted, and when I got home, talked to him. I know I shouldn’t let such things have any control over my emotions, but they do. It wouldn’t be so bad, but it’s seemingly him and Raya both disappearing at once. Although I’ve gotten a couple e-mails from Raya, when we usually rely on messenger and the phone…So I’ve still got communication with her too. Just is a bit much on me, when both my closest friends get uber busy at the same time…I was feeling out of the cosmic circle, or something.

I’ve got a good portion of Sonja’s dress done…Problem though…I need a specific tool to add grommets to it. Mine seemingly has gone missing. *sigh* Which means…I have to go and get another one tomorrow…Tis okay though, as I think I need to pick up something to help me do the sleeves anyway. Perhaps some accent pieces, as I think I’m going to have to bring it up a bit in front to keep her from tripping over it.

Well a week and nearly 3 hours and 15 minutes until I can start writing. Which makes me ask one question…What the bloody hell happened to October? *looks around for any signs of where it went* *sigh* *shakes head* Seems like time just isn’t content to stay put…It’s running off whenever I’m not looking. It didn’t use to go so quicky…Why is it doing it now?

*@*@*@*@* Takes time out for phone call *@*@*@*@*

*returns from phone call*

*sigh* And staring at finacial aid things…Confusing things. Tis all overwhelming…and making me think, perhaps, I’m not ever going to figure it out…That I can’t do this…*sigh* I want to do something…I know I do. And despite NOT missing the interaction between me and my fellow students (as nearly most of them were all idiots), from high school…There are parts of the learning I DO actually miss. Granted I didn’t do well in most of my classes, but some I did. And some it was due to circumstances. I’m just not sure if I’m cut out for this…

I guess I should probably talk to someone…But I hate talking to people…And I wouldn’t know what to say (which I’m thinking is more or less why I don’t like taking ot people. Because I don’t know what to say…or am afraid to say something stupid…Or just feeling out of place).

Blah…I give up for the night…*sigh*