One more day passes by

I’m having a really up and down day. *sigh*

Woke up feeling so-so…
Took a bath…Got out feeling wonderful! I looked in the mirror and actually liked loved what I seen. I was really, amazingly so, happy with what I seen. I felt beautiful…I saw beauty. That should of made the whole day good…Right? *sigh* No…

Something happened that sent disappointment through me. Which would of been fine…No big deal…I just needed time to process it. Try and sort it out…Which, yeah…Not happening quickly…Still…It really doesn’t matter in the long run.

Then had to go to the Pet’s family Halloween gathering…I figured the ride would do me some good…Well I ended up having to be the one to drive (when I really didn’t feel like it), so that did wonders for my mood. (Oh, and that first long text message…I was driving when I wrote it.) Anyway…Got the the ‘party’ location, and the Pet, in his infinate stupidity, couldn’t manage to figure out how to get out of the back of the Jeep properly, and got his foot stuck. *rolls eyes* He expected me to undo it some how. I couldn’t even get to his foot without risk of getting myself hurt…Which I wasn’t going to bloody well do. So he gets all pissed…Which somehow he manages to get his foot out…But yells at me because I didn’t know WTF he expected me to do. *rolls eyes* So the whole time there I didn’t say a single word to him. One would think he’d have the sense to at least say sorry…But nope…He’s acting like nothing happened at all now. I overheard him and his mother talking, and even she said it was wrong of him to yell at me…I couldn’t tell if he said he knew that or not…Still, either way…He didn’t do a thing about it.

Mum told me the other day it costs $150.00 to get divorce papers drawn up. I’d been wondering…Guess I know where $150 of the tax refund money will be going. I hate living like this…I can’t keep living like this…It’s not living. I’m not even much feeling like I’m exsisting at this point…I feel…*sigh* *shakes head* I don’t know.

I want…I need…I deserve…Someone who’s going to treat me right…Who’s going to treat me good…Who is going to manage to know I exsist!
It’s been a month an a half since I got my braces off…As far as I know, the Pet has yet to realize, if he has, he hasn’t said anything. It’s been longer since I got my last tattoo…And he still doesn’t even have a clue as it it’s exsistence either.

I want/need/deserve someone who is going to notice these things when they happen…Not months later, if ever.

But right now…I’d be happy with just someone to hold me on occasion and just pretend.
Actually…Like I’ve mentioned before…I think I’m pretty much done with love…It serves no useful purpose…Only causes pain. I just…want someone I can pretend with for a brief period of time, and then move on, back to the more mundane things of life…*sigh*

Eh…I give up on this entry.