Odds and Ends & Forever is a long time…

Almost time for my braces to come off!


Click Here to get this from FreeFlashToys.com!
*does a happy dance*

Well…not sure when Mum’s Jeeps break are going to get fixed, or my Jeep will get looked at, as the mechanics phone has been shut off apparently.

Along with that bit of knowledge my Mum also delived the news that Ken is in the hospital again. *sigh*

Also…Walkies for tomarrow have been cancelled. Libby called tonight…Her father died Saturday, they are having a memorial for him tomorrow.

********** This is something I wrote this afternoon **********

Forever is a long time…
                                             …But some things are meant to last.

 
How do you know when something is going to last forever? Alot of people say ‘Nothing lasts forever’, but I think they are wrong…There are things that go on, even death can not end them.

Friendships are said to come and go…And they do. Why? Because no matter how stong some of them are, they are just not meant to stand the test of time. But, I know there are a few, that some people are just meant to be together, in one way or another, and nothing will stop this…Not even distance.

I’ve never had an over abundance of friends…But I’ve never needed it either. It’s not the quanity, but the quality that counts in such things. Open Diary, as well as the DragonLance group(s) I belonged to prior, have gifted me with some wonderful people to call friends. And although some of us aren’t overly close, or aren’t as close as we use to be, or haven’t taken the oppertunity to get closer than we are, thus far, I know they are there.

I also know, that from each place, I’ve taken away life long friends. People who are incredible important to me, and that nothing could ever put an end to.

Over the past couple years, I’ve found myself growing as a person, and although I have very bad backsliding issues, little by little, I’m becoming the person I know is waiting inside to be out. I know the events in my past not only shaped who I am today, but also crippled me from being the person I was meant to be initally. But I am learning that those things can be overcome. Anything can be overcome, just as long as one keeps trying, and one has the support system that they need. Two decades worth of damage can not be undone in a little amount of time, but it can be undone.

I’ve known Raya for two years (nearly three), and from the beginning we seemed to have an instant bond. We live parts of ourselves through our characters (having put so much of ourselves into them, that they are, essentially us), so first we connected on that level, and sitting back watching our characters interact, we actually seen ourselves interacting as well. Upon passing from that state of just being two people in a roleplay, whose characters came, quite by accident, to share a storyline, our real lives have wove themselves around each other as well.
I have said before, I’ve worried that Raya will out grow me…As even though I am older than her, she is more mature than I, on most occasions. I’ve also come to learn that, that isn’t the case. We, our personalities, support each other. When Raya is being too serious about something, that shouldn’t be taken too serious, I remind her to look at the lighter side. When I’m not able to focus on some points, that a more mature mind can pick out, she sheds a light on these so I can see them, and then, the part of me that is mature is drawn out and can see what it is I’ve missed, and it’s usually quite helpful. On the flip side of things, we have our moments where we both go with our less-mature sides, and end up laughing our heads off at two and three in the morning, just having a wonderful time. Yet when there are truly serious things going on, we can both focus on those together, and help each other see things we may not see if we were sorting through whatever it is on our own.

Aside from, or perhaps on top of that, whenever I falter in my belief in myself, Raya is always there to do whatever she can to put me right again. I get such wonderful praise from a lot of my readers, telling me how great my writing is. Each compliment brightens my day…yet there is always nagging doubt. When I voice said doubt, Raya is always there to remind me that all these people wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true, there is nothing in it for them to say so. It’s Raya who found the e-book with the writing exercises (which I’ve been quite neglectful of late of), telling me she knew it was something I could do. She has that kind of unwavering faith in my abilites. If…When…I manage to get through my own personal blocks, the ones that continue to hold me back, it will be in no little part, due to Raya, my sister.

Family is more than blood…True family comes from the heart. (Tis a lesson learned in roleplay, that extends to the real world. It’s not blood and DNA that make a family, it’s love. Love transends all that science could ever offer.)

Growing old is Mandatory…
                                                           …Growing up is Optional

Now, for my dear Grimmie…As no matter what the status of us…He’ll always be mine…Always part of my life.

Six years…Doesn’t seem like it could be that long. Yet time seems to have a way of passing without us realizing it. Grim has got to be one the most singularly stubborn people in all of exsistence. He presents himself with an Ego that just won’t stop. He’s nearly impossible. Completely troublesome, loving to stir up mischief at the drop of a hat. He can be arrogant, and completely maddening…But…He can be steadfastly loyal, wonderfully supportive, and amazingly protective of those rare few who can weather all the other, to become his friend. And trust me when I say, all his potentially infuriating qualites are worth getting through to become his friend. After all, without them, he wo

uldn’t be him. And as I’ve said several times before, and I’m sure I’ll say several times to come…I wouldn’t want him any other way.

Over the last little while, I’ve given a lot of thought to the diffrences between growing old…growing up…and growing more mature. You can’t fight growing old. It’s a fact of life, it’s going to happen. I’ve come to realize something though…It’s in growing old, not growing up, where the maturity comes from. Maturity is just the wisdom of the years, and whether you want it or not, it’s going to come. And whether you exercise it or not, it’s going to be there. And on occasion, it’s going to shine through. Growing up on the other hand…Is forgetting what it’s like to be young. Forgetting that on occasion, to be truly alive, one has to remeber what it’s like to be a kid. In that instance…I never want to grow up. I never want to forget what it’s like to be young, to feel free, to know that there is a world out there yet to see and explore. I also know I’m going to grow older…and I’ve realized, maturer…it’s just the way that I chose to present that maturity that matters. I can still be a mischievous being, and be mature at the same time. It’s what one does with the maturity that matters. And just because one is mature, doesn’t mean they have to use that maturity all the time.