NoJoMo 15

Keeping up with this…Even if I would rather be asleep…

I feel a bit on the ick side…Okay, a bit more than a bit…& I’m so bloody tired.
Which means, despite being back in time, I’m not up to tutoring today…& I’m not sure how I’m going to be feeling tomorrow…Which I’m feeling bad about the thought I might miss out on tomorrow. & it’s not even about missing my hours and having to make them up…It’s about missing out on the tutoring itself. I had told the one girl I should be back for Friday afternoon’s tutoring…I may skip tomorrow morning and go in for afternoon anyway, as long as I’m not feeling dead.

S…The girl I’m pretty much set to tutor in the afternoons seemed to really like the idea of us going and working on stuff in the afternoons. She’s only got academic support for that last hour, so she’s not missing a class…& this way she gets that one on one attention that so many of the students could benefit from. What we are going over is a lot of repetitive stuff, but it didn’t really seem that repetitive at the time (granted it was the first time I had done it, but still…). Plus there was a section where there were suppose to be letter cards so she could work on spelling words that way, but we didn’t have them. Mrs. Gooding had poker chips with letters on before she said, but hasn’t been able to find them yet. Anyway…I printed out some I found online on card stock…So we can add that to it as well.

G…Is the math girl…Right now she has trouble just keeping the order of operation in line…She doesn’t ‘know’ her multiplication tables, thus the cheat sheet. Mrs. Gooding was feeling like G just doesn’t even care anymore. Which, to some degree, might be the case. But I think it’s because G doesn’t have the confidence in herself, so she doesn’t see the point. She knows her 5 times…And she did do the one multiplication without looking yesterday, which I made she to tell her I noticed that she had done it, and that she was doing a good job. I find myself telling her ‘good’, and ‘that’s right’ a lot. When she even makes the littlest error, she’s quick to say she’s sorry…I keep telling her it’s okay, that she doesn’t need to be sorry, we all make mistakes, it’s part of life. She seemed to pay attention and be interested when I went over the way I learned to times 9s…She kept the paper I wrote it out on, she said to practice…So maybe. & like I said last entry, Mrs. Gooding said she got the most on the multiplication sheet than she ever had before. [The multiplication sheet is 100 problems, starting at 1×1, and going up to 9×11, I believe.]

The first time I worked with N…He had his head down as we headed out to the library, and I got the feeling he too just felt like he couldn’t do what was being asked, so he had that ‘what’s the point’ feeling going on.

It makes my heart ache to see that so many of them are just feeling so defeated. & I know it’s because they didn’t get the teaching they need in the last couple years. That’s the trouble with teachers who are too concerned with making sure they get everything required in, instead of being concerned with whether the students are learning the material. Not all the students are getting the material down…And if they don’t have it, they can’t move on, not properly. Especially with math, seriously, we all know that it builds upon prior knowledge. If you can’t do the first step, how the bloody hell can you be expected to do the third step!
Told G yesterday that despite not being fond of math myself, and that I occasionally still have trouble with it (which she seen first hand, as I had to quickly scribble a problem out to make sure my thinking was right), that it is one of those things that is everywhere tho, and she will continue to encounter it forever. That is another thing, and I would think that most teachers would realize this by now, but I don’t think they all do…Students care more if they know why they need to know the stuff they are being taught. They are more apt to learn if it’s something they are interested in. And while not every student is going to be interested in every subject, we do have to find, or at least try to find, some way to offer some kind of enticement and reasoning.

I’m not even working as a teacher yet and I find myself hoping that when the state hands out money for next year that they take actual student count, not estimated, when it comes time. Alba’s budget is nearly gone…If they use actual student count, they will get more money than if they estimate, money they desperately need. As it is, Mrs. Gooding doesn’t know if she’ll be called back next year. Last year they had either 16 or 19 teachers, I can’t remember what she said…But this year they only have 11. Which is why, from what I’ve gathered, more than a few classes are doubled up on grades, & teachers are doing double duty.

While I was tutoring G in the library yesterday morning, the one teacher asked if I could watch her class for a couple minutes so she could run down to the bathroom.
I’m not sure what grade they are…She use to be the 1st grade teacher…They looked so short tho…So I’m not sure if they are still 1st grade, or if they were kindergarteners.
Anyway…At first I was just standing in the doorway, and they were doing what a room full of children during free time will do. [Read- running around like a bunch of little heathens. *laughs*] Then one noticed me…Then another…Before I knew it, the majority of them had swarmed the doorway and were standing in front of me. O.o A couple of them asking questions. Who I was, what I was doing there…Amazingly Byrd hadn’t decided it was snack time. *laughs*
Anyway…After I was done tutoring, I was heading up to the high school to tell Sonja I was leaving, and the little ones were lined up against the wall out side the bathrooms. A couple of them waved, then one little girl came after me for a hug…Then a little boy came for a hug when he seen the little girl had gotten one. *laughs*

Non school related things…& why I didn’t expect this entry to get so long…
I’m tired…So very tired…I was up at 6:15 this morning, and on the road around 7-ish.
Didn’t sleep real well last night, kept waking up…But really I didn’t mind, as I could snuggle back up next to Wasil and go back to sleep.
I took my one pillow & blanket down with me…They both smell like him now…Makes my heart ache.
He headed back to Missouri this morning. There had been an extra added comfort knowing he was only 2 1/2 hours away…That he was in the same state…& now…*sigh*
He’s so worried…My wonderfully, usually, logical boy…That we aren’t going to have the chance to see each other again…Which breaks my heart all the more that we had to part today.

I do believe we (as the world) are in for a change. Gods know we could use one. I don’t believe in a flat out ‘end of the world’…I do believe something very well may happen soon.
Nature is not happy…That can be easily seen with the long list of natural disasters that have been adding up the last few years.
I know there is a lot of talk surrounding the Mayan calendar, and it’s ‘ending’. It’s ending wasn’t the ‘end of the world’ that everyone is going on about…It’s simply and ‘end of an era’.
Adm

ittedly, I haven’t read a whole lot on the subject…I really don’t feel the need. I do know that they measured things in eras, and the one we’ve been in is ending. I’ve also read that the next one is suppose to have a whole spiritual enlightenment…Gods knows the world could use it.
If the world ends, it’s not going to be a flat out ending…It will be an ‘ending as we know it’…Which, yeah, is a scary concept to some degree. I don’t expect it would come all at once, on a certain date. And if it were…Well it turns Dec. 22 on the far side of the planet before it does here…So if that side of the planet blows up…We’ll know what’s coming. [Okay, not a real logical or encouraging thought…But I do find it slightly amusing in a warped twisted way…& considering those who live within my head…Warped & twisted is a way of life.] [Also speaking of the warped & twisted things in my head…Didn’t so much introduce Wasil to Byrd last night, but did announce hers, and others, existence within. & the fact that she thinks babies are meant to be food. He suggested that maybe children should be a year old before being eaten, as newborns are probably fattier. Um…Yeah…Honestly, the conversation wasn’t as bad as I make it sound here. *laughs* & it’s kind of nice to be able to say, yeah, head is full of others, and him actually not have any real reaction, just simple acceptance. OMGs…Is there any question as to why I love and adore this man? *smiles*]

But yeah…he’s worried that we aren’t going to see each other again. He’s worried St. Louis might flood, as apparently it does to some degree on occasion…& the Mississippi river IS right there and all. He’s preparing for a worse case scenario…He says that way if nothing happens, then *shrugs* no big deal, but if something happens, then he’s ready for it. He also plans to make sure he has enough gas on hand to make it here. That is his goal…He will have enough gas to get him from St. Louis MO, to St. Louis MI (to check on his parents) & then here. He figures once he gets here, he’ll be out of gas…But he’ll be where he wants to be.
He also told me…tried to tell me…tired to make me promise…If something does happen…& I don’t see him within a years time, that I’ll move on.
I didn’t promise…Honestly…I think if anything were to happen to him…I’d be done. I don’t see me ever wanting anyone else. He is who I am meant to be with, I know this.

Okay…I have to get going…On the way back home…About an 1 1/2 hours from home, I got a text asking if I could come get the boy, as the Idiot got called into work.
Couldn’t of course, but had him drop Harley off at the house, as I knew he could be trusted that long. & as I haven’t heard from him as of yet…Means I get to go get Sonja from school too. Should make her day…I know they were both hoping he’d get called into work today.
So yeah…I’m out of here.